Saturday, October 3, 2015


In my dreams a couple nights ago, I dreamt I told someone I never minded working hard, it just was hard now with the way I feel.

I had found my way - not on purpose - to where they moved a department to. Someone was surprised it was my first time there. Where I was was seemingly part office, part my college, part hospital. 

I felt like I was on the run. And, at some point, I was wearing a hospital gown, and after I pulled the privacy curtain, two doctor-like people showed up. 

I wasn't there for anything, so I knew that whatever they wanted to do wasn't for me. I tried to show them the bracelet with my name, but the name was wrong. I tried to tell them there was a mistake, but they were acting like I was wrong, and I needed attention, and when I was refusing it, that made them come after me more. 

As I was running away, a woman gave me some sort of tracking device that I just threw away from me. I couldn't seem to get away. At some point, "it" was over, and I saw a piece of paper that said I was something. I can't remember the word, but it symbolized "rebel" and not good in the eyes of the law system. As a matter if fact, it put me on their "suspect" list.

I was disappointed. The woman started to talk to me about going forward. I guess I was "free" to go, other than the fact that I was now seen to be this thing. 

I was also upset, and I said she did not know who I was in my heart, because if she did, they would not have labelled me that way. There had been some point (I think prior to that) that I stared her down, and told her that no matter what they said, or tried to convince me of, or was  convinced of, I was not going to change/see things differently. I said that what I wrote was for perspective, and to inform.

They were definitely making me question who I was, and my reality, and it was really scary, even more so because they seemed so calm, measured, assured - even friendly and caring. 

I am not sure how to take this dream. A part of me does feel part rebel. At the same time, I worked with someome spiritually this past week, and it shook up a part of me in a big way. Things I believed/took for granted, I can't any more - much to the discomfort of a part of me who has likely believed the stuff most of my life - if not all of it.  

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