Sunday, October 19, 2014


I just saw something that was shared by another. She was sharing about time spent with her family. She seemed to have an issue with herself about cutting the visit short, but realized that what time she spent was valuable.

For many who responded, the reaction was positive. I had a thought that probably is different than what many would think of. I think there are times we can justify the behaviors we may think are lacking by making them seem to be good. Perhaps she should have spent more time, but since she didn't, she made herself feel better by looking at it how she did.

This is not to say that is what happened, though, or even to judge her for her actions. Rather, it just makes me think about how often we have the ability to justify pretty much anything. What if she went where she went, but she really should have stayed with her family?

The only one who is going to know the answer to that question is her. The only one that truly knows what is best to be done in any given moment is the person his or herself. It takes a matter of really listening, and trusting and knowing that feeling that is guiding us where we "should" go. It is the only "should" I think worth listening to.

The thing about it, though, is that I think when we do what feels like the right thing to do, is that there is a sense of peace that comes along with it. If there isn't peace, then it is possible that what we are doing isn't what should be done, or the voices of others make us question ourselves and our decisions.

Whose voices do you hear? Often when you know it's right, you know it's right. I just think it is important to occasionally look at the things we do to make ourselves feel better. Someone reading her story might feel it gives them permission to do something that might not even be the right thing for themselves. It also might give justification for an argument about what another in their life is doing or not doing.

How often do we truly listen to what is best for us? I think it can be rare, as repercussions can be problematic. For me, since dealing with cancer, I would rather listen to that inner voice than not. It makes me so much easier to live with. There is a lot more silence, and a lot less questioning and judging and confusion in my head than when what others thought bounced around my head as much as it used to.

Oddly, perhaps, the repercussions aren't as bad as not being true to myself. But - make no mistake - there are still times it just sucks.

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