It's All About...?

It's all about...me?

Today I am heading to the place that will diagnose and treat me.
My sister is going to meet me there. I have a niece she wants to
bring with her. We have several discussions about it. I realize

she may want to bring my niece as a part of HER support structure,
but I am uncertain about how I feel about her knowing what is
going on. I wasn't quite clear about what it was about her knowing.
Part of it might be her age. Part of it may have to do with the fact
that it is possible that what we say and think has energy, and I can't
help but wonder what energy a young teen might bring to the situation.

But as I was talking to my sister, I realized that at the moment, I have
very little I can appear to control, so I want to seem to control as much
as I can. Every adult that I have spoken, I have chosen to tell. I have
also asked them to please send me good thoughts instead of worry
when they think of me. Who knows what they did with it, and if they
will? But they are adults, so perhaps there is a better chance that they
will do as requested, and therefore a better chance for the illusion
to be maintained.

During my last conversation with my sister, she also encouraged
me to stay up in NY with a friend after my surgery...that way she
would better be able to help. "So it is all about you?" I asked. She
got kinda defensive. "That was a joke." It was. And. It wasn't.

 She wants to be able to be there for me. Where I live doesn't make
it easy. I don't know what kind of shape I will be in after the surgery,
but it likely won't be all that great. It would be nice/helpful to have
someone to help me. My friend who lives with me might be able
to help, but I am already asking him for more than I want to.
I am sensitive to how he may be feeling throughout this.

I share this because some friends have said this is all about me, and
that I need to stand up for myself.  At the same time, if standing up
for myself (if that is what it is) might have me standing alone.  It
also could be that they might conform in the interest of helping me,
but at the same time, it seems to make sense to consider that there
is no experience that is truly and completely one dimensional.  Not
even one like this.

Perhaps that is a good thing?