A New Me

Two days ago, May 14, 2012, I was told there is a good chance that I have cancer.

I have, perhaps prematurely, been telling people that I do have cancer.
Apparently, you need a biopsy to know for sure.

I would like to be wrong.  Perhaps I am.  I will find out in a few days, as I am
going to be going to a place that has a great reputation when it comes to
cancer treatment.  They will assess, and if they need to, slice.

Quite frankly, given the way I feel, and have been feeling, I know something
is really NOT right.  I even went as far to look into suing for malpractice because
of the way that my doctor had treated me, and didn't.

Let me be clear about something:  I DO NOT like doctors.  I go to them as a
last resort.  I DO NOT like hospitals.  I was in one a few years back, and was
not happy with the food they were providing me.  Almost everything offered
had high fructose corn syrup in it.  How could they not know how bad it is
for people in general - and I would imagine it even worse for someone
who was trying to get better.  But that experience in its totality may be
something to talk about another day.

Although, I do have to say, much of that experience has played into how I
have interacted with the events of the last few months, so it may be a more
suitable conversation than I initially thought.

At this time, though, I wanted to just begin to share the beginnings of this new
journey.  I have told a few people about the idea of this blog who do not know
things about me that I begin to share.  As I write, I wonder if it will prohibit me
from being as forthcoming as perhaps I should.  Fortunately I have yet to share
the address of this blog, so I don't have to be so quick to tell them.  I kind of
think there may be more value in open sharing.  I have no idea who will
eventually show up here, but details are often the parts that people relate to.
At the same time, they are also the things that limit and label us, too.

This is where things begin.  That is one of the few things I know for sure.
Another thing is that, as odd as it may sound, I feel a bit excited.  I love to
learn, and there is much that I am learning and exploring in the last couple
of whirlwind days.  It helps that it seems that what I have isn't one of those
"death sentence" types of cancer.  I am hopeful to move through and move
on from what is happening.   It also helps that I am educating myself, and
will have things to pull on when it comes time to discuss things with the
doctors.

Much more to come.  Just have to unjumble the mess in my mind.  So many
things I want to talk about.

Onward and Upward.
mE