you might be surprised by. I am finding myself with
mixed feelings about my weight loss because of...
my clothes.
I know that it may sound strange, and you likely think
I have bigger, more important things to think about and
consider. I kinda even think that way myself, sometimes.
But it is something that is on my mind almost every day
because I have no idea how my clothes fit me. I have
lost approximately 30 pounds since my surgery. For a
woman that is about 2 sizes.
In addition, I lost 10 pounds earlier this year before
all of the "excitement." :P So...as you can likely imagine
the way clothes fit me 40 pounds ago is not the way they
fit me now.
The weight I was I had been for at least 4-5 years. I
know this because of the clothes that I have had that long.
Clothes that used to fit "just right" now hang off me in
different ways. Some less flattering than others. Some
of these articles of clothing fall into the favorites category,
so it is hard not to be bummed.
In addition, my body has changed. It isn't the same as
it used to be. It changed pretty much overnight. I think
if I had lost weight more gradually I would have had
some time to get used to it. However I did it the quickest
way possible, so I am still a bit shell shocked by the
change. It isn't as much as it was when I first got home,
but it is still odd to see myself in the mirror.
The wisdom of organizers is to get rid of the clothes
that don't fit. Often I have done that. When I moved
I did that. But I didn't do it with everything. There
was a dress that I like that I only wore once. It wasn't
cheap, and I really like it, so I kept it. Now it is a bit
big on me. I also have a pair of jeans that fit
wonderfully when I first bought them that are also
a bit big. If I lose any more weight, I lose a favorite
pair of jeans that I hadn't worn in a while any way
because they were too snug! (Kinda funny, isn't it?)
It is a bit ironic to me that I got comfortable in my
bigger skin (in retrospect maybe not the thing to do...
how long had this been going on? Might I have been
better served by checking in with a doctor? At the
same time, when the gynecologist told me I had
gained weight back in January, she offered no
solution or tests, only to watch what I eat. But
any way...) and I found the clothes that made me
feel really good and really confident only to now
how have them hang off of me and have me not
feeling as confident in them, as a result.
I also have other clothes that fit into the category
of being either really snug, or didn't really fit at all.
This is the positive side to this situation. They now
fit, quite nicely. It is in some part a compensation
for the things that no longer do. I want to say that
the number of favored things I am losing is bigger
than the ones I am gaining, but I want to be positive
so I am trying not to say it, LOL.
Right now much of my life has been turned on its
head. As odd as it may sound, so much has changed,
and yet so much feels very much the same. As
a hypnotist I know we seek out the familiar. It is
what we need. It is what we base many of our
unconscious decisions/reasonings on. I guess it
makes sense that I am so disconcerted by losing
my favorites, and my significant weight loss.
A piece of my comfort zone is gone.
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