"You gained 17 pounds" | How it all began

In January while visiting my gynecologist, she advised me
that I had gained 17 pounds in the past year.  I was surprised
it was that much.  I knew I had gained weight, but I hadn't
given it a number.

Since I am a person who has struggled with weight "issues"
most of my life, I have tried to be "OK" with where I was
in relation to it.  While I was finding myself buying bigger
clothes, and unable to wear some of the clothes I had, I had
noticed that my body had gotten bigger.

I thought it was fat.  I had tried to lose weight on more than
one occasion in the last few years, and my weight didn't
budge - not even when I was watching calories and working
out.  I had basically given up.

I wasn't particularly happy with where I was weight-wise,
and my doctor's pronouncement had me decide to make a
change.  Even if I couldn't lose weight, I was going to take
better care of myself.

(Perhaps interestingly, the intuitive part of me saw a healthier me
down the line at the time.  I felt I would not be the same in a year).

I looked into juicing.  I didn't quite understand how to do it,
but the idea of it seemed to be a good one.  I spent the month
of February juicing romaine lettuce, spinach, and a few other
things.  I used the fiber that it through off and mixed it with
the meat that I would eat at dinner.  I basically spent the month
staying away from sugar and gluten.

I lost 10 pounds.

I also thought that perhaps this meant that I had a gluten
allergy, so I started to look into gluten alternatives.  At the
same time, I started to learn more about what goes into our
food supply, as well as what we put into the products we use.

I even made my own laundry detergent.

Around the same time, I had started to cough.  I wondered if
inhaling the laundry detergent was making me cough.
Apparently what I used could be quite toxic to the lungs.

I waited about a month, and then decided to see a doctor.
Up until now I have never been one for doctors, or rushing
to doctors, so I reluctantly went.  He gave me an antibiotic
that seemed to work, but then I continued to cough.

It was suggested to me that I might have allergies.  So I
was trying allergy medicines, but it didn't really seem to
work, either.  I kept coughing.

In March, my strict February diet had changed.  I
was now allowing myself small amounts of gluten.  I had
decided that I didn't want to drive myself crazy trying to
avoid it.  In addition, I had found out that if one is actually
gluten sensitive staying away from it could make matters
even worse.

I was finding it more and more difficult to eat.  Each time
I would eat I would seem to fill up pretty fast, and was
fairly uncomfortable.

One day I had a little something to eat, and I got nauseous.
It happened, and it was done.  I wondered if I might be
constipated, so I decided I should clear things out.  I read
about Magnesium Citrate, and decided that is what I would
do.  I tried it, and it made me so very uncomfortable.  It was
suggested to me that I try a Fleet Enema to top it off, as it
could alleviate some of what I was feeling.

Both seemed to help, but minimally.  I was still extraordinarily
uncomfortable.

At this point I figured I had to go to the doctor again.  Once
more I was reluctant, but the situation was extraordinarily
uncomfortable, and something wasn't right.

The doctor took xrays, and determined from them that I
need to see a GI (Gastroenterologist) Doctor.  I wasn't
happy about it, and began to worry about whether I could
have a hernia, or what else might be wrong.  (Perhaps
ironically, I never even considered cancer.)

I got an appointment with the first doctor who was available.
I had tried to get one with someone recommended, but he
was booked at least a month out.  I knew I couldn't wait
that long.

When I went to the doctor, he touched my stomach for
a whole of 5-10 seconds, and pretty much told me that I
needed a colonoscopy.  I really didn't want one.  I asked
about other tests.  I told him about how I felt.  I tried to
explain my symptoms, and other things, but he was
adamant about me getting a colonoscopy.

He told me that I had no where else to go.  That he was a
GI doctor, and that I basically had no recourse.  He also
assured me that once he did the colonoscopy he would
know what was wrong and could treat me.

Reluctantly I agreed.

The colonoscopy was scheduled a week out.

While doing the prep (that no one will tell you is
pleasant) I was in so much pain at one point, I was
crying.  I was told by a person in the doctor's office
that pain isn't a part of the process for anyone doing
the prep - no matter what was wrong.  I had suspected
it was gas, and when I was able to take something for
gas, I was able to be OK.  In retrospect, I probably
should have just gone to the ER, but I did not want
anything to interfere with the colonoscopy.  I needed
to know what was wrong, and I needed to be treated.

Yes...it does seem to be rather faulty reasoning now,
but I also had concerns about the costs in relation to
my insurance.  Logically at the time it all made sense.

I got to the colonoscopy, and when it was all over
the doctor basically tells me everything looks fine,
and that I should just eat more fiber.  He also tells
me I should buy some Prilosec OTC.  One problem,
though, I am barely able to eat.

The nurse tells me that if I still feel the same way
in a couple of weeks (by the way, among other
things, my stomach at this point is larger than I
have ever seen it...it was one of the reasons I
decided to see the doctor) I should let him know.

I almost cried.  There was no way I was going to
make it a couple of weeks.

I left there determined to find another doctor.
Unfortunately, my insurance wasn't going to make
that easy.  I thought I had found someone.  I made
an appointment for the next day only to find out that
he didn't really take my insurance.

I had no choice but to go back to the colonoscopy
guy.  "I don't know if I didn't make it clear to you,
but I am in a lot of pain, and I am barely eating.
Something is wrong."

He then says I should go for a cat scan, which I do
the next day, which is a day that he happens to be
out of the office, and is a Friday.  The results are
sitting in his office by the end of the day.  I ask
someone in the office, "If something was really
wrong with me, someone would let me know, right?"

The office that he works in has a number of doctors,
and one would think that if something was really
wrong, someone would say something, right?

Wrong.

I have to wait til Monday to get a call.

The doctor's arrogance is gone when he calls me
and tells me there is something that needs immediate
attention.  Apparently the cat scan (the one I asked
for, but he wouldn't give me when I first arrived
in his office) shows a mass that looks cancerous.

***

So why do I tell you all of this?

One.  It is a way for me to get it in writing somewhere.
It helps me get it out.

Two.  Perhaps it will inform you in some way.
Apparently ovarian cancer can masquerade as
digestive issues.  I would have thought a  GI
doctor who specializes in digestive issues would
know that, but he never once suggested that it
was anything other than a GI issue.  But now YOU
KNOW, and if you or someone you love ever has
something like this happen, perhaps you will be
able to help them identify the issue before it gets
too far out of hand.

Three.  I have heard one should never ignore a
cough.  Apparently I had so much fluid built
up in my body it compressed my lungs.  If I
had paid more attention to my cough sooner,
maybe I would have known something sooner.
Of course not every cough (and very few
coughs) will be cancer, but it may pay to pay
better attention if you have a symptom like that.

Four.  If you seem to be gaining weight, especially
a large amount, it might be worth investigating it
on more than a superficial level.  I suspect a lot
of the weight I was holding was fluid from my
body's way of dealing with the tumor.  After my
surgery I lost a significant amount of mass.  I was
surprised to see the difference in a number of
places on my body.  It became apparent I was
more bloated than fat.  (I have lost 40+ pounds
since January, 30+ of which have been shed
since the surgery and my return home).

Five.  Some of you have asked for info/detail
about what happened.  It will be easier for me
to direct you here than to repeat it all again.  I
really want to let things go, and I really want to
forgive the doctor, and rehashing it over and over
probably will not help.

Onward and Upward.