It has been a while since I have written because I was in a whirlwind.
I was in a daze of sorts when I got to the place that was going to
diagnose me, and do the surgery. I got there on Thursday, and had
3 days of meeting with people to do. Because the weekend fell in
there, the third day was on Monday.
That day I found out that my surgery would be the upcoming
Thursday. As booked as they seemed to be, it was likely to be
an opportune thing that it was going to happen as quickly as it did.
The surgeon was telling me about what he might do, and I thought
perhaps he was tip-toeing into the waters. From how things looked,
I expected that I would be getting a hysterectomy. While some
women may react adversely to it, I was at the point that I was more
than ready to let things go. My cycle hadn't been regular in quite
some time, and the idea of having my own children was no longer
something that I felt would even be possible.
Ideally I would have liked to have kept my body parts, but if there
was a need to let them go, I was ready.
It turned out that everything pretty much went - including a tumor,
and 26 pounds of weight.
It also turned into quite an ordeal, one in which I lost at least a week,
and was highly drugged, and was in the hospital in total for over
2 LONG weeks.
I have been home for a few days now, and am having difficulties
getting acclimated. I want to act like everything is "OK," but can't.
I think some that I know are surprised that I am not back to myself,
especially since it would sound like I might be.
There is so much I could say about my time, and will...at some point.
But for now, I just wanted to touch base. I started to put the word out
a bit on Facebook...but have been non-specific publicly, and those who
don't know what is going on probably won't understand my abstract
messages, but those who know what is up will likely get a sense of
where I am. It is difficult to let everyone know what is going on
individually. That is why I decided to slowly move into those waters, and
why I am sharing the address of this blog with those who know what
is going on.
There is much for me to chronicle about this journey. Perhaps it
will be of interest, and perhaps you will just want to know how I
am doing. Any which way I hope it will provide you with something
you seek to know, should you wind up here.
Please feel free to be in touch. I found in the last several months that
there are many who care about me silently, and at a distance. While
it is something that I do not take lightly, and something that I value, I
have also been very appreciative of the opportunity to truly be in
touch with those in my life that I have been out of touch with. The
silent, distant caring is all too easy to fall into. I also found it left me
feeling quite alone. Something else to discuss later...
I think that will be all for the moment.
Have a great night.
Be safe and be well.
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