Friday, May 23, 2014

Homeward Bound

A few things are on my mind. Today as I was coming back from my friend's, I found myself again telling people what I have been dealing with. I am not sure why, but it felt like the "right" thing to do at the time. My self-imposed no conversation about cancer seemed to have been lifted. I imagine a part of it comes from the fact that my vacation from me is now over and I need to get back to the realities of my life.

To say that I am less than thrilled is quite the understatement. The first people I told was a couple. They told me to "stay positive" and acknowledged me for what is perceived as my strength. 

As always, I appreciated it, but think they probably have no clue of the dilemmas I am facing. I had no desire to really delve into it, although I did try to say something. It is really hard for me to leave it alone when I think people really have little to no clue. I feel like I am supposed to say something.

Am I right? Who the heck knows?

Then, later in the day, I was sitting, charging my phone, when someone came over and asked if she could share the outlet. The obnoxious me said, "No," but with the broadest grin.

I wound up telling her stuff, too. I also complimented her on her earrings, and she GAVE them to me!! I had no idea why the offer, but she gave them to me without hesitation. (It also had nothing to do with what I told her, as what I said came afterward.)

A few minutes later she found out she needed to be elsewhere, and she was off almost as quickly as she came, but only after she took a moment and asked to pray with/for me. 

She felt like an angel to me. She was incredibly sweet. And the earrings? They have butterflies on them. Metamorphosis. Right before I start treatment again. 

If there are angels and signs, I would have zero problems saying I met an angel today and got quite the sign. At the time I was pretty calm, and even though I am tired right now, I am feeling mostly OK about what is coming.

I spent some time unpacking tonight, and find that my clothes smell like my friend's apartment. It is a wonderful association that I appreciate having. I plan to take a few things when I go for chemo that I relate to good feelings and people and thoughts.

No comments:

Post a Comment