Thursday, May 14, 2015

Withdrew My Request

This is what I wound up writing to the person whose show I inquired about:

I think I will withdraw my request. I approach things differently than many by acknowledging - and embracing - all aspects of this journey. While some may think it "negative," I would call it empowering. I'd go as far as to say I think it is why I am still alive.  I do not know where our conversation would go, but I am not sure that my approach would work for what it seems you are looking to create.

If I am incorrect, please let me know. 

Their response was that their intention was to be as positive as possible, and that they were unwilling to veer from that mission. I understand that we all have different needs and perspectives, so my intention wouldn't be to try to convince them otherwise. Maybe there are people who need to hear things just as that person plans in presenting them. 

I just need to find the ones who are like me, and would find the focus on positivity to be unrealistic, and not all that helpful - especially when one compares themselves to it, and finds themselves lacking, or just in general, comes up against stuff that just doesn't leave us smiling, or happy, or...feeling very positive.

It may not be very pretty, but in my world at least, it works. And while it may often seem I am alone in this regard, I know I am not. I guess if the only place that is willing to hear me out is this blog, and places that are my space on the Internet, so be it. 

I really don't feel like I have a choice in this regard. Something really feels like it is compelling me to go in this direction. I certainly hope it is the "right" one to go in. If my circumstances were different, I might question the rightness of it all a lot less. But, as it is, right, or "wrong," it is what it needs to be, and if I go down while doing what I am doing, at least I know I will be without regret.

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