That is what I am.
That is what I have been for the last day, or two.
I am on the edge of tears.
I am not exactly sure why.
I have some thoughts.
It could be the chemo.
It could be that the end of treatment is coming.
It could be that I am releasing energy.
It could be that I am tired.
It could be that I feel unsupported.
It could be that I feel confused.
It could be that there is a lot of uncertainty.
It could be I am about to face things that I am not ready to.
It could be a lot of things.
Someone today told me that I am "needy."
It certainly didn't help.
My first reaction, I didn't think so.
My second reaction, tears.
My third reaction, even if I was - or am -
I have been through so much in the last
several months, what is so wrong with
feeling like I need something from someone?!
My fourth reaction, pissed off.
That's what I get for talking to someone
about what I am feeling. This is why I
have difficulty sharing things sometimes:
you get unhelpful, unwarranted "help"
I really think many people who haven't
had to deal with cancer personally don't
have a bloody clue of what I am going
It hurts. So much, and in so many ways.