For a little while she did not respond. I hoped she had not yet done it. I also hoped that we would have a chance to talk about her choice. All too often I think things done to "honor" someone are gimmicky -and about making the other person feel good about themselves, or that they have done something, but it doesn't really do anything for the person being "honored."
At the same time, I wanted to honor her choice - which I wanted to find out more about.
We wound up talking for quite a while. I think it was even an hour. I love my niece. I love them all. She just happens to be the oldest of the bunch, and the most like me. At times, I have felt a bit sad about that because I am not sure in some people's eyes that is a good thing.
I love how she reacted to my response. She didn't get upset or offended by my inquiry. She explained her reasons for wanting to do it, and they meant something to her - one of which is that she felt she could help me more. By cutting off her hair, she might raise money to help me. She felt people she knew might not want to help a stranger - even if they knew the stranger was important to her. She thought it might in some way make things more tangible for them in a way they might be willing to act. She also felt she might be able to make a statement about beauty. And there was something more personal, which I also understood.
Since she was so engaged, I told her that a way she could honor me was by helping to inform others, and get the word out. We talked about the cards I have been giving out that have ovarian cancer symptoms. We decided on the spot that she was going to distribute some. At first it was 250. But the price wasn't much more for 500, so she went to the larger number. She wondered out loud if she would be able to distribute that many, but then decided it was a challenge she would meet. As the order was placed, another 500 could be gotten for $6 more, so she decided to double her challenge.
I told her that she could give them out to anyone she met during the course of the day. I told her about the nail salon on my trip, and the gym that willingly took my cards.
I told her some of the facts I share:
ovarian cancer often is mistaken for digestive issues
doctors often miss the symptoms - many doctors will never even see a case of ovarian cancer
even going for your regular check up doesn't mean you are "safe"
My niece also asked me if ovarian cancer has a color. It is teal. She said she makes bracelets. Perhaps she could sell one for $1 and raise funds and awareness that way.
I love that she is inspired. I love that she wants to help others. I love that she is finding a way to act. Even if she doesn't raise $1, I love that she is engaged. I hope she raises a lot, though, not so much for me - although it would be awesome, but because I know how difficult it can be to want to help someone and not be able to see much tangibly come from your efforts. I have had that my experience myself, and have had more than one tell me how frustrated they are about the lack of "results" from their efforts on my behalf.
She is honoring me by helping me get the word out, by helping my message live on. And I feel incredibly honored by who she is being.
Her interest is inspiring me, too. I got to thinking that maybe others might want to help spread the word and information. I would love to get people talking. This is what the trip has been about. I know it is not easy to walk up to a stranger and start talking about cancer. Believe me, I know. More than once I wasn't going to, but something inside insisted, and when I did, boy was I glad I did. People WANT to talk about cancer. I can almost see relief in their eyes to be able to talk about the experiences they had, and their loved ones. Some are proud to share they have survived their own experience with it.
It has connected me to people in a very beautiful and profound way. And you may say that it is "my" thing, and you can sit back and watch. BUT. If you, like my niece, would like to honor me and my message, you too can share the cards. She got 1000 for about $30 yesterday. You can take up a challenge with her, and at the same time, give yourself the gift of connecting with another, wonderful human being.
I would be happy to tell you more about how I did it, if you want that info, let me know. At the core was a willingness to listen to an any inner nudgings. There have been many times I have just cut to the chase, "I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year. Since then I have made it might mission to inform and educate men and women on the symptoms. I put together this card. The green side has the symptoms, and the other side has the tests you can ask the doctor for if you suspect it could be ovarian cancer."
That is where it begins.
If you were ro be interested in helping to spread the word, you could do the same thing. Listen to any inner nudgings of who you should share with,and then use what I said,, but replacing it with, "Last year a friend of mine was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Since then she has made it her mission to inform and educate men and women on the symptoms. She put together this card that she shares, and I now share because (fill in the blank). The green side has symptoms, and the other side has the tests you can ask the doctor for if you suspect it could be ovarian cancer."
And that is where it can begin.
It might help to recognize this is about life and living, rather than cancer if you think you want to help, but might be intimidated by such a proposition. It also helps if you think of it as a way to just connect with another human being who is likely to be amazing. I cannot tell you how amazing people really are when you give them a chance to just be. It also helps to consider the fact that you may never again see that person - but if you do, it may just be because you have made a new friend.
If interested in distributing cards, please email me. Contact info is here http://anewme515.blogspot.com/2013/02/contact-me.html.
Thanks! and thanks to my inspirational niece for inspiring the idea.
No comments:
Post a Comment