Thursday, March 13, 2014

Feeling Stretched & Stressed

Feeling stressed. Car battery might need to be replaced. Had conversation about how important/necessary oil change is for the car. With my bank account nearly depleted, I cannot even consider spending the money. Could it cost me more as a result? I have no choice. 

I can't stand when reality smacks me around like this. Why don't I just ask someone for the money? Because I am tired. I am really tired. There is so much that people do that is preventative and maintenance - like the dentist - that I cannot even consider because it transcends a survival need. I can't even seem to get the kind of help I need with the basics - much less anything beyond that. 

I feel like I just want to cry. 

Such a seemingly small thing sets me off these days. But there is hardly anything small when the weight being carried is already great. 

I am appreciative of the things that do show up...but it makes times like this no less stressful. I say this because the first place so many go to with posts like this is to point to gratitude. I get it. But do you get how difficult it is to have to face different degrees of an impossible situation over and over and over? 

For the most part I think I do a pretty damn good job. There are just times, though, the dam breaks. This - is one of those times. Want to help? You can see how here: http://anewme515.blogspot.com/2014/03/about-mehow-you-can-help.html Thanks.

<Insert sad emoticon here>

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