That's the soundbite. Two words sum it up quite succinctly.
But, here's the thing, you probably think your once hot, now cold, coffee sucks. You probably think the cold sucks when you want heat. You probably thinks it sucks when you can't get a phone signal.
I may not know you, but my guess is that you are smart enough to realize that there are varying degrees of suck. And I bet you realize that, in some ways, to say cancer sucks is an understatement of a hefty proportion.
And yet, we live in a soundbite world. We want things short and sweet. Keep it simple. How do you keep the experience of cancer "simple?" Those who have never dealt with it are likely to be the ones that want it that way because those who have dealt with it personally know that things aren't as simple as others would like to hear them be.
So often it bothers me that I have to be an Open Book to be scrutinized. What does she need the money for? A Gucci Bag and a European Vacation, of course. And don't forget the most expensive shoes to go along with that bag. Ugh.
The scrutiny is probably what complicates things because when it comes down to it, the main reason you will likely hear a story about cancer has to do with a need of some sort that is usually *shhhh* (whispering) "money."
It is what got me being so open. I never wanted to be as open as I have become. Ironically, perhaps, I seem to now say too much. It is confusing. People don't have the time or interest to read long posts, I am told.
I am also told that many times people DO read my long posts, and value what is in them.
So who is "right?"
The fact is, I am. I know I am "supposed" to write for you, dear reader. But another fact is that this isn't for you. Ideally, I suppose, I would have two blogs. One would be like this one, and the other would be the Cliff Notes Version. But I don't have the time, nor the energy to do both. I just can't. If I could, I wonder, would I?
I have always written to suit me. I have, for a long time, gotten equal parts grief and praise for what I have written. You can't please everyone. So who do you please?
I want people to understand what is going on. I want people's questions to be answered. The problem is there really isn't an easy, succinct way to say the things I am dealing with. I wish there was, and I have tried.
Unfortunately, managing cancer is like managing a huge project and all of its facets. The problem is, like any job, the minute you have one person being your CFO, Marketing Manager, your Advertising Manager, your Business Manager, your Creative Director and more, things are just not going to be the way you want them to be. There just isn't enough time or energy. And then, heaven forbid that person gets sick, you're going to have even more difficulty getting things done, especially the "best" way.
Having compassion and empathy is a heart connection. When you connect from the heart it really IS simple. The heart says "YES!" and you go. The thing is that the world we live in isn't as much heart connected as head connected, and along with that comes a whole bunch of words that may or may not tell you what you feel you need to know. But that doesn't stop you from asking or thinking you need them.
As I think about it, another soundbite for cancer could be, "Need Help." And that just takes us back to where we began, because you might feel you need help to bring the groceries in. You might need help doing the laundry. You might need help...
I know you get the idea. And I just spent a whole bunch of words explaining why the simple just ain't so simple.