Just recently a friend wasn't doing something for me that would ultimately create something for him because of how I was sounding about all that is going on. He didn't want to make more for me, or bother me. While I appreciate that thought in essence, it annoyed me. He has done so much for me, this particular thing is something I could actually do for him - and I wanted to. I didn't care if I had to do it over other things. It was the "least" I could do.
I got to thinking about how many people do the same thing with me. They don't want to "bother" me. They think they are doing me a favor by making decisions for me. I wish people could get that it would be better to talk to me about something, and let me decide than to make an assumption that it was somehow better for me to not do it - especially when it comes to something that involves money.
Yes. That is blunt. But there you go. I have been struggling and begging for help for months. If the one way that I can get funds is something that I have that I can exchange, then so be it. But if people stay away all together, then I have nothing.
As often is the case, I share this as a way of expressing something that others may also appreciate, whether they are dealing with cancer, or just life in general. I think most people like to make their own choices, but in the interest of being caring we sometimes go places that perhaps we shouldn't. If you care about someone, consider letting them choose.
I, by the way, can't say that I feel this way about everything. It can be overwhelming at times. But then, if you are uncertain about whether something is welcome and appreciated, or not, you can always ask what types of things are in that realm.
The way things are, as often is the case, it is extremely demoralizing and lonely.
I realize it may not be easy, but very few things are. If you care about someone, it's worth the effort, don't you think?