Talking to Strangers, asking favors

Yesterday I went for a large dose of Vitamin C. I have been doing that twice a week for a while now. It is exhausting to do it, not because of the "treatment" itself, but what is involved in getting it.

Yesterday I also talked to a number of strangers about the blog contest. It was something I was really uncomfortable with. Ideally I would have walked up to anyone and everyone, and told them about it.

The problem was, I knew that wouldn't work out too well. There was explaining I needed to. Besides, if I didn't connect in some way, there was a better than average chance I would walk away and the piece of paper I would have given them would have been crumpled and thrown away (provided they found the nearest trash can).

Instead, I just had the thought in my head that I wanted to find those that I should speak to. I knew the numbers wouldn't be large, but hopefully the connections would be good ones - even if it was just for a moment, and even if they chose not to vote for me/my blog.

I wound up meeting a woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer, a woman who is a nurse - whose mother died dealing with breast cancer, another woman with a friend who has been dealing with cancer, and has cancer in her family, another woman who is dealing with something left unrevealed whose name was mine. (As a result, she, sadly, is the only name that I remember of those I spoke with.)

I also met someone else, and the story around it is one of the most interesting of the day. I was at the train station, and could have gotten in line for my train, but instead after going to the restroom, I went to sit down. There were several people I could have sat next to, but there was one in particular that I wound up near.

We started to talk. She told me she was on the next train.

As we spoke, I shared a number of things that I share with people. I gave her my postcard. I gave her the ovarian symptom card I created. I also decided to ask her to vote for me for the blog contest.

I really enjoyed talking with her. It turned out that a sister of hers is in the midst of a cancer scare. It is likely she will be OK, but it obviously was something that weighed on her mind. As a matter of fact, she was sitting there thinking of her sister as I sat down.

She told me that she usually waits for her train somewhere else. But yesterday, she decided to do something different.

The fact was, I could have gotten in line, and we would never have spoken. Ironically, I came to find out that the line was for a different train. We were, in fact, supposed to be on the same train.

She seemed rather grateful to me and our conversation. I had said that I had wanted to help people who were dealing with cancer related issues, and had created a web page for that purpose, but that it didn't seem to catch the attention of anyone.

As we spoke though, she pointed out, and I realized, that I do do exactly what I set out to do on that webpage, I just do it differently. I do it all the time in the many conversations I have with people.

I got to thinking that maybe my extending myself as I do, and have, as uncomfortable as it has been on way too many occasions, is about other people much more than it is even about me. When I find the "right" people to be engaged with, the conversations can be amazing and sometimes even profound.

A part of me chimes in, "also exhausting."

I was really tired when I got home last night. But I did a few things, and posted about the contest before I went to sleep.

I am pushing so damn hard. The damn slipped in there from the part of me that is like, "can we just have a break, please?"

A person yesterday also tried to tell me to relax around money, and just take care of myself. Unfortunately, it is hard to sit back and do that. There is no relaxing when you don't have the money to pay for the things you need to pay for.

On some odd level, I will go with the pressure to keep going as a good thing. It is propelling me into situations that are incredible gifts. But now I really have to find a way to be able to do that without having to push myself so hard.

If you haven't voted today, or even ever, but would like to, please click here to go where you need to to vote. Anything you can do to support me in this venture would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.