Wednesday, April 1, 2015

On Help.

Have you always wanted the help offered, or given?

My guess?


And yet we seem to assume that all offers of help should be treated as a gift from us and graciously received by others.

All good when things are going in THAT direction.

I am writing this to offer you a thought. When it comes to "help," or anything that appears to be something you could assist with, consider asking the person involved if they would like the help, first. Secondly, give that person the room to decline without it being, or becoming, an issue. 

It is not about you. Don't make it about you by being disappointed. By creating guilt trips. By adding pressure.

And don't inflict yourself on another in the name of "kindness." What you are offering may not be the gift you think it is, for a myriad if reasons - none of which you need to understand to accept and allow for.

Is this an absolute, in every case? Hardly. I just ask you to consider it the next time you are inclined to be helpful.

Thank you on behalf of anyone who thinks about this the way I do. I could just not say anything, but the silence we are used to operating under doesn't really help, and only underscores an occasional dysfunctional way of handling things.

Maybe it is time we stopped trying to "play nice" for the sake of not rocking the boat, and instead allowed ourselves collectively to have things the way we'd like them to be, rather than have the appearance of how others think they should be.


Ps if you enjoy my work, please consider Patreon.com/jolope. $1 per month could really make a difference (REALLY). Thank you.

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