Pretty Please

There is no easy way for me to say
what I need to say.  I am not even
sure how to go about it, but I am
going to try.

I put up a page asking for financial
help.  On it I have made it clear,
or so I would hope, that even just
$1 would be helpful, and I TRULY
do mean it.  If 1,020 people gave
me a $1, it would help pay my
health insurance for two months.

Which is no small thing.

I am feeling antsy and scared tonight,
as my savings are dwindling, and I
have 4 more months of treatment
to go.  I have tried to be honest and
forthcoming about my situation, and
even link to this blog in the hope that
if people who don't know me get to
know me perhaps they would consider
helping a stranger in a time of need.

It took a lot for me to put up that
page, and it has taken a lot for me
to reach out to some people specifically
asking for help.  The response I have
received several times is, "I can't
help right now."

I understand that money can be
tight, and if you truly feel that you
are unable to do anything financially
you can still help if you could see it
in your heart to tell others about
my situation and endorse what you
know about me.

One just never knows what is
possible with efforts big and small.
The bulk of donations so far came
from one person's efforts and request
to his friends to help me.

For any and all, I am grateful.

At the same time, there have been a
minimal amount of donations.  I
am wondering if there is something
else I could do, some other way I
could communicate my need.

I have seen how people can get
help, and I would SO appreciate
being one of them.

Maybe I didn't paint my situation
as dire enough?  Maybe it is
because I am not yet on the
edge of the precipice of financial
ruin?

Well I am close.

I am not looking to go on vacation.
The "vacation" from work that I am
on now isn't one I would choose.
It is a stay at home one that has me
in pain, tired, constipated, cramping
from diarrhea, and is affecting me
in all kinds of "delightful" ways
from the chemotherapy drugs that
my body now has to play host to
that makes it difficult to do anything
outside of home without significant
concern and planning.

People sometimes ask me what I
am doing for the weekend.  As if
my life was normal enough to have
weekend plans.

I am not looking for pity.  And I
am not feeling sorry for myself.
What I am attempting to do is
describe my situation in a way
that speaks to my very real need.

I am happy to do something in
exchange for your efforts, if we can
figure out what would be of benefit
to you, and if you can work with me,
as it may be a bit before I can deliver.

Words are wonderful things, and to
those who have delivered words of
support, thank you, and please continue.

At the same time, I can't pay my bills
(which now includes my medical bills
which exceed $10K) with your kind,
supportive words.

Pretty please - with sugar on top -
help me.   If there is any way that
you can spare even just $1 to help
me get through this time I need the
help, and I really don't know what
else to do.

Maybe you do?

Thanks for listening and, if what
I say speaks to you, for any help
you may offer.