and more importantly...why do they
get to have a say?
I have been thinking about this for
a while now. I had seen an article
on a website about how not to buy
"mom" jeans. It was like it was the
most horrific thing any woman
could do.
It is not to say that input isn't helpful. But when the
input is designed to make you feel badly about you or
your choices, it would seem to me that it is more about
manipulation than being helpful.
Having said that, does another's input get valued over
one's own? Who is to say that that thing is in, while
another is out. I remember seeing an image of Oprah
with a blouse with the poet sleeves. That was quite
a while ago. What a terrible thing that she was wearing
something out of date.
I still see the style sold, and I have a few blouses of
my own that have that style. I love it. It fits the poet
and creative in me. Will I still be wearing them for
a while? As long as they hold up I likely will. They
are some of my favorites.
There are things like this in every aspect of life.
A naturopath doctor thinks she knows exactly what
I should eat to get better. Is she "right"? I am
uncertain what I think. After all, there are people
who live to be 95 who smoke, drink, and eat all
kinds of stuff. How does one explain that?
I won't discredit something I don't fully understand,
but it makes me wonder what to think. After all,
if changing one's diet was a sure thing, it would
help every sick person, wouldn't it? And I suspect
it doesn't. I once heard something to the effect that
every disease was able to be cured, but not every
person. Makes me wonder what is "behind" the
experience of another, as no two have the same
experience. As one medical professional told me,
"Cancer hasn't met you yet."
Then there are the things we do, and the things
we buy, and the people we befriend. Who tells
us what is, and who is, OK? Unconsciously we
make decisions all of the time from the
programming we received as children, and
whatever else comes our way as adults.
I cringe at some of the things that I was taught
growing up. Thankfully I don't believe that it
was all ingrained perhaps the way that was
intended, but it doesn't mean I wasn't affected
by it.
It is all too easy sometimes to go with the tide,
and to let others make us question ourselves
and our choices. We may not even realize
what is happening, and when, which makes
it all the more difficult to combat.
But I suspect it is the times that things go a
bit out of step, that things don't go as planned,
that things make us reflect, that we have an
opportunity to look at things differently and
to interact with them in new ways.
The hypnotist in me agrees with a theory of
a book that says we are always hypnotized,
and that "official" hypnotic trance helps us
to undo what has been done. And as those
in the world that I know get more and more
stressed, it is easier and easier to bypass the
part of us that should be in control. We
become more reactive.
And when that happens, it is so much easier
for others to tell us how to be, what to say,
what to do, how to do it...
It takes effort to pay attention. It takes even
more effort sometimes to act upon that thing
that got our attention. Often it would seem
easier to just keep going.
I think there may be something helpful that
come from the input of others, I am just
not sure it should be a replacement for
what we want or think or believe, but
perhaps an enhancement of our experience.
I have a pair of jeans that don't fit "right"
(by the blogger's standards). But they are
comfortable, and I think they look OK.
Does it matter to me what the blogger says?
It was interesting what she said, but in this
case, No.
I guess after a time one learns when it
makes sense to listen, and when it makes
sense to have a deaf ear. I just wish it was
something that could be automated, but
then I suspect it would defeat the purpose
of what could be empowering.
It seems that the ability to be aware and
to choose is one of the greatest things in
life and in the human experience. Going
along with ideas and people seems to me
to be quite a numbing experience. But
give me a moment in which I am aware
and can make choices I feel empowered.
In order to do that, one needs to know
what is in one's mind and heart. Sometimes
it seems to me that could be a tall order.
So many I have spoken to say they don't
know what they want. I have been there
many times myself. However I suspect
we all know more than we think we do;
it could just be we're too afraid to know
because of the possible repercussions of
acknowledging that thing. It could upset
the whole apple cart.
Hmmm. Interesting for me to note that
apples metaphorically can mean knowledge.
So maybe upsetting the cart means
a rearrangement of our pieces of knowledge,
and perhaps even brings to light the "bad"
apples: those ideas and thoughts and beliefs
that don't really help us. When we reset
things, we will have only those ones we
want to have, and not the rotten things that
might be hiding below the surface. When
there is a spillage, we find ourselves having
to pay attention and look at what is in front
of us. We have to stop. We can't just
blindly keep going.
My head is a whirl. I am thinking this
through as I am typing. I am certain there
is more to this metaphor, and I am certain
there is a message in this for me.
Many times in my life I felt on the outside
looking in because I wasn't "wrapped" the
right way. I didn't feel good about how I
was different, but I couldn't seem to get
it "right." I am not really sure how hard
I tried, though.
The result was that I never felt like I was
on solid ground. I didn't know me well
enough to love me, and I always felt like
I needed to be someone else. If I was
someone else I could be popular, have
more friends, have a boyfriend. If I had
more money for clothes I could have
dressed in a more "cool" way.
Would I be having this conversation if I
hadn't been diagnosed with cancer? I am
not sure. I have often asked questions and
been thoughtful about things, but it seems
to me in reflection that I was living a
pretty numb experience up until May 14
of this year - the day my cart got upset.
As I am cleaning up, I am happy to
share some of my apples with you,
but they may not fit your tastes.
But if that is the case, I bet the ones in
your cart are pretty darn wonderful.
But who's to say?
There are things like this in every aspect of life.
A naturopath doctor thinks she knows exactly what
I should eat to get better. Is she "right"? I am
uncertain what I think. After all, there are people
who live to be 95 who smoke, drink, and eat all
kinds of stuff. How does one explain that?
I won't discredit something I don't fully understand,
but it makes me wonder what to think. After all,
if changing one's diet was a sure thing, it would
help every sick person, wouldn't it? And I suspect
it doesn't. I once heard something to the effect that
every disease was able to be cured, but not every
person. Makes me wonder what is "behind" the
experience of another, as no two have the same
experience. As one medical professional told me,
"Cancer hasn't met you yet."
Then there are the things we do, and the things
we buy, and the people we befriend. Who tells
us what is, and who is, OK? Unconsciously we
make decisions all of the time from the
programming we received as children, and
whatever else comes our way as adults.
I cringe at some of the things that I was taught
growing up. Thankfully I don't believe that it
was all ingrained perhaps the way that was
intended, but it doesn't mean I wasn't affected
by it.
It is all too easy sometimes to go with the tide,
and to let others make us question ourselves
and our choices. We may not even realize
what is happening, and when, which makes
it all the more difficult to combat.
But I suspect it is the times that things go a
bit out of step, that things don't go as planned,
that things make us reflect, that we have an
opportunity to look at things differently and
to interact with them in new ways.
The hypnotist in me agrees with a theory of
a book that says we are always hypnotized,
and that "official" hypnotic trance helps us
to undo what has been done. And as those
in the world that I know get more and more
stressed, it is easier and easier to bypass the
part of us that should be in control. We
become more reactive.
And when that happens, it is so much easier
for others to tell us how to be, what to say,
what to do, how to do it...
It takes effort to pay attention. It takes even
more effort sometimes to act upon that thing
that got our attention. Often it would seem
easier to just keep going.
I think there may be something helpful that
come from the input of others, I am just
not sure it should be a replacement for
what we want or think or believe, but
perhaps an enhancement of our experience.
I have a pair of jeans that don't fit "right"
(by the blogger's standards). But they are
comfortable, and I think they look OK.
Does it matter to me what the blogger says?
It was interesting what she said, but in this
case, No.
I guess after a time one learns when it
makes sense to listen, and when it makes
sense to have a deaf ear. I just wish it was
something that could be automated, but
then I suspect it would defeat the purpose
of what could be empowering.
It seems that the ability to be aware and
to choose is one of the greatest things in
life and in the human experience. Going
along with ideas and people seems to me
to be quite a numbing experience. But
give me a moment in which I am aware
and can make choices I feel empowered.
In order to do that, one needs to know
what is in one's mind and heart. Sometimes
it seems to me that could be a tall order.
So many I have spoken to say they don't
know what they want. I have been there
many times myself. However I suspect
we all know more than we think we do;
it could just be we're too afraid to know
because of the possible repercussions of
acknowledging that thing. It could upset
the whole apple cart.
Hmmm. Interesting for me to note that
apples metaphorically can mean knowledge.
So maybe upsetting the cart means
a rearrangement of our pieces of knowledge,
and perhaps even brings to light the "bad"
apples: those ideas and thoughts and beliefs
that don't really help us. When we reset
things, we will have only those ones we
want to have, and not the rotten things that
might be hiding below the surface. When
there is a spillage, we find ourselves having
to pay attention and look at what is in front
of us. We have to stop. We can't just
blindly keep going.
My head is a whirl. I am thinking this
through as I am typing. I am certain there
is more to this metaphor, and I am certain
there is a message in this for me.
Many times in my life I felt on the outside
looking in because I wasn't "wrapped" the
right way. I didn't feel good about how I
was different, but I couldn't seem to get
it "right." I am not really sure how hard
I tried, though.
The result was that I never felt like I was
on solid ground. I didn't know me well
enough to love me, and I always felt like
I needed to be someone else. If I was
someone else I could be popular, have
more friends, have a boyfriend. If I had
more money for clothes I could have
dressed in a more "cool" way.
Would I be having this conversation if I
hadn't been diagnosed with cancer? I am
not sure. I have often asked questions and
been thoughtful about things, but it seems
to me in reflection that I was living a
pretty numb experience up until May 14
of this year - the day my cart got upset.
As I am cleaning up, I am happy to
share some of my apples with you,
but they may not fit your tastes.
But if that is the case, I bet the ones in
your cart are pretty darn wonderful.
But who's to say?
No comments:
Post a Comment