Thursday, August 8, 2013

Reprieve Almost Over

At the moment I am enjoying the last few moments of my time away from the reality of my life. I wish I could say I am fully enjoying them, but I am already thinking about all of the things I need to do when I get back "home."

My friend has gotten an offer on his house. If all goes well, we will need to be out of the house by pretty much the end of August. I have a lot of boxes to move, and things I am going to have to donate or sell or - something.

A part of me doesn't want to be bothered. A part of me just wishes I could just walk away from everything. I don't think I will...but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

On top of everything else, my health insurance company did not get my last check. I am pretty sure they should have gotten it. So now I have to decide what to do regarding it. Grrr is all I really want to do. Every unnecessary thing is painful.

I am also debating about the scans they tell me they want in a few weeks. They want to do another Pet and MRI. Not thrilled about either, but both? If my numbers are good, I think they are going to have to give me more to go on than just their say so and desire to do them, which is kinda what I got when I asked the question last time. I get kind of annoyed when I think about how casually they seem to approach it. Like it is nothing. And it is not nothing.

I was told two stories recently. The first was of a woman who had breast cancer. She was treated with radiation, and then was "fine." Later she was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. At the time she said the spot that showed up on her breast was in the same place where the radiation had been.

Story number 2 was about a man diagnosed with cancer. He, too, seemed fine, but then was rediagnosed. In the process he started to need dialysis. His kidneys were on trouble - and it had nothing specifically to do with the cancer. They say the dyes of the scans can be hard on your kidneys. He wondered if one had anything to do with the other.

Somehow I would not be surprised if in these two cases there was some effect of prior treatment that affected them later. I ask a lot of questions but there are times I have my doubts that I ask enough. For someone that's never been medically inclined, this year has certainly been a challenge and that certainly is an understatement. If I did not feel so strongly, I would probably just do what they tell me to do. But there's a part of me that really doesn't feel like scans so soon is a good idea. I really feel like I need to listen.


I am back home now. Have lots of catching up to do. Things may be disjointed for a while, so don't be surprised.

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