A Day of Peace and Clarity

I am sitting in the apartment that my friend is renting for the next few months. I am incredibly grateful for being here. And I am trying to figure out what I can do in a few months.

I am at times very calm in the midst of this storm. I was listening to something yesterday that said that our DNA is affected by our emotions. From what I can understand, what is going on with me is a result of changes in my DNA, so my ears perked up.

One thing I am not so sure about, though, is the idea that we create our life experience in totality from our emotions. It implies that those who don't get it "right," die. 

Having said that, I am still open to being the best I can be at any given moment. The one thing I feel fairly certain about is that I am unwilling to override my emotions. Yes. I can change them, but I am not certain that that is my right course...at least not at all times.

By changing how I feel, without processing what I feel, I suspect only delays having to deal with it and/or buries it.

Sure I can look at my situation as an adventure or a journey or in any number of other positive ways, but not when some other thing presents itself. Try telling yourself that it is day when it is night, and see how easily convinced you are that it is what it isn't. Even if I told you your life depended on it, it wouldn't change. It would likely just make everything worse.

I think there is a chain reaction that may not always be the way we think it is. What if we somehow got what we think is right, wrong and we just do not know it yet?

Of course it could just be my ego and rational mind that doesn't want to be wrong that is talking. The thing is, though, I have a feeling it is in to something. I am just not sure what.

I guess time will tell. A part of me keeps thinking how could *I* possibly come up with something that hasn't already been known or discovered or figured out. The best I can figure: I can't or won't, someone else has known what I yet to know so when I come to it for myself it will only be "new" to me, or I will discover something pretty dang amazing.

Thank goodness for the calm, peaceful days like today. The days that I am more greatly challenged have me ready to give up.

Days like today have me wondering what all the fuss is about those other times. I can only imagine that each piece is important and necessary in some way. If it wasn't, why would we have it?