Why do we see the things we do? Ayngel Boshemia has written a book, Sister, Survivor that should be out by the end of the summer. In it she talks about what a "Survivor" is. She has often referred to me as a Survivor, and I have never really been a fan of the word. It works for some people, but it has just never really worked for me, and it is not something that I could ever put my finger on. I still can't.
But.
The thing is that tonight I just happened to watch two videos that were very different. In them the people share about themselves and how their tragedies have inspired them to act. In one case, the person even goes as far as to say that maybe what happened happened so that he WOULD act.
I am pretty sure that is much of the reason that Ayngel calls me a Survivor. After what I have been through, I have been inspired to act, to try to help people who might be going through their own cancer hell. To try to help educate those who ain't got a clue. To try to shed some light on the things about cancer - and the experience of it - that are hidden in the shadows.
Ayngel wasn't happy with me not being happy to wear that label. I get where she is coming from in what she expresses in her book, and it is a powerful, empowering message. And it helps me to see those who would be "Survivor." The "problem" I still have though is that I am just so not a big fan of labels. Among other things, they don't always mean the same thing to all people. And while I may see what she is saying in what she writes, I am not so sure I am a big fan of how I think some people - especially in the cancer arena - seem to be exploited because they wear that label.
Maybe in time it will change. But since I am not a big fan of labels - good or bad - I am just not sure. But then again, I have striven to carve out my own definitions so who the heck knows what could happen?
I didn't go looking for them, but somehow they found me. One right after the other. And they came after watching a video that wasn't in any way related. Watching the videos - in conjunction with having read Ayngel's book - has given me something to consider.
I highly recommend both of these videos. Amazing stories and people are involved. I look at them and am amazed by the expression I see. If you have the time, watch to see if you too may be inspired. (I also recommend Ayngel's book. Watch BoshemiasBohemia.com for details and announcement.)
Both of the videos are hard to watch. The first one because of my family background--there is a history of abuse in the family. The second one...is just hard; no personal experience involved at all.
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate that. It was something I felt, too. What is interesting for me to note, after seeing your comment, was how focused I was on how they were using their situations to make a difference, rather than the pain and horror of their situations. I had not realized that - until this moment. I suspect many find what I do difficult to engage in because they are more focused on my pain than anything else. Hmmm...something for me to think about.
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