In a Weird Place Tonight

In a weird place tonight. Got an email from someone I did not expect to hear from. I don't think it really means anything, but on some level, who knows? It might.

I spent a good part of the day sorting through stuff at the apartment, and then my friend and I went to dinner. Another chapter is about to close on my life. It was a short one, and now all wobbly, I am looking to find a way to get comfortable and organized in my new abode.

I also spent a little time trying to figure out some creative options. I want so much to do a few things for my friend. He is so particular, though, so I need to work with him, although I do have one potential surprise up my sleeve. I have an idea, and am going to see if I can make it come to fruition. Provided I do, I will share the results. Wish me luck. 

I feel a bit discombobulated tonight. With treatment around the corner I feel a bit of pressure to get things done. I don't know how far I will get, but I have to try. The more I can get done now, the less of a hassle things will be when I am not feeling so great. 

There is nothing worse than having to deal with anything awry when I feel like crap. My patience level is practically non-existent.

So often I cannot deal with one more thing beyond what I need to do for survival. Many times I am sure it annoys some and frustrates others. I try to explain things, but I don't know how much some people get. Plus I tell people about this blog for a reason. It helps them know what is going on - especially when I do not seem to be responsive.

I have tried generally to be responsive to people, but have found it to be very difficult to care when I am in the middle of a crisis moment. And if someone doesn't know I am there, I do not have it in me to explain. Even if it is not a crisis, many days I am only a step, or two, away. I am walking a very fine line these days.

And most people I know are either avoiding me or interacting with me as if everything was just fine. In some ways it is a good thing. In other ways, I am not so sure. I hate to have to explain my limitations over and over, but that is exactly what I need to do when someone might try to assume something of me that might be a relatively "normal" thing of most people - but is not for me.

I am feeling pretty tired. I want to do some work, but I think I will be heading off to bed soon. I will get a fresh start tomorrow, and unpack my full car and continue on my quest to be organized.

Sweet dreams when you get there.