Thursday, January 9, 2014

In a Weird Place Tonight

In a weird place tonight. Got an email from someone I did not expect to hear from. I don't think it really means anything, but on some level, who knows? It might.

I spent a good part of the day sorting through stuff at the apartment, and then my friend and I went to dinner. Another chapter is about to close on my life. It was a short one, and now all wobbly, I am looking to find a way to get comfortable and organized in my new abode.

I also spent a little time trying to figure out some creative options. I want so much to do a few things for my friend. He is so particular, though, so I need to work with him, although I do have one potential surprise up my sleeve. I have an idea, and am going to see if I can make it come to fruition. Provided I do, I will share the results. Wish me luck. 

I feel a bit discombobulated tonight. With treatment around the corner I feel a bit of pressure to get things done. I don't know how far I will get, but I have to try. The more I can get done now, the less of a hassle things will be when I am not feeling so great. 

There is nothing worse than having to deal with anything awry when I feel like crap. My patience level is practically non-existent.

So often I cannot deal with one more thing beyond what I need to do for survival. Many times I am sure it annoys some and frustrates others. I try to explain things, but I don't know how much some people get. Plus I tell people about this blog for a reason. It helps them know what is going on - especially when I do not seem to be responsive.

I have tried generally to be responsive to people, but have found it to be very difficult to care when I am in the middle of a crisis moment. And if someone doesn't know I am there, I do not have it in me to explain. Even if it is not a crisis, many days I am only a step, or two, away. I am walking a very fine line these days.

And most people I know are either avoiding me or interacting with me as if everything was just fine. In some ways it is a good thing. In other ways, I am not so sure. I hate to have to explain my limitations over and over, but that is exactly what I need to do when someone might try to assume something of me that might be a relatively "normal" thing of most people - but is not for me.

I am feeling pretty tired. I want to do some work, but I think I will be heading off to bed soon. I will get a fresh start tomorrow, and unpack my full car and continue on my quest to be organized.

Sweet dreams when you get there.


  1. Hi Elizabeth,
    I am from UBC, so nice to meet you. I am holding an intention for you that your situation will resolve, you are showered with love from the higher realm and you will regain your health and vitality.

    I would like to suggest and I hope you don't mind, but a friend of mine, Kay Lam, is putting on a free tele-seminar about Let's Thrive! Now that you have survived breast cancer. Kay is a wholistic wellness catalyst and a breast cancer survivor. You might find some calming peace and valuable information to help you. The link to her site to register is: http://goo.gl/RkK7mO.

    Namaste with Unity "Love" Consciousness,
    Wendy Baudín
    Self-Love Sherpa and Wisdom Guide

  2. You are so brave to share your thoughts and emotions and be vulnerable, Elizabeth. I admire you and pray that you have more "good" days than "bad" ones.

  3. You are empowering yourself by sharing your emotions on this canvas. Paint away. When those who want to help need inspiration, your words are what will direct them. Prayers are being said for you! (I found you through UBC.)