When you post in the daily Facebook status, the expectation is that you will receive two comments on your blog post, at a minimum. Many times I have not gotten my two, and for a long time I just let it go.
Then one day I asked one of the organizer/moderators how I should handle it. It made me feel a bit petty/uncomfortable/like a tattletale, but the fact was as much as I would appreciate the comments, there was a part of me that really did not care.
What got me asking the question was the idea of the integrity of the exercise. If people were not doing as they "should," was it lessening what the exercise was offering?
I was instructed to say something when the expected comments did not show up. It would allow for education if someone did not understand what was expected.
The whole thing still felt awkward to me, and now I am wondering if I should have somehow listened.
Today someone did not comment, so I asked about it. I got a like, but no comment, so several hours later I asked again, and I asked if there had been a problem or any difficulty.
The person responded that they were not feeling well, but that they had, and would look into it tomorrow. When I heard that, I said not to worry about it. It really wasn't all that important.
Private messages followed, and I explained what I explained above, and said not to worry about it. The last message I received was that the person felt insulted.
That got to me. I felt badly. But then I didn't. But I still sorta did. All I had done was seek to discover why there was no comment. There was no insult intended. Things happen, it really was no big deal.
And yet...had I made it one by being so persistent?
I hate things like this. The only thing I think I did wrong was not to listen to that voice that felt uncomfortable with the dynamic. I think the reaction was more about the person, and where they were at, than about what I said or did. The situation apparently triggered something.
The thing is now that person probably thinks less than kind things about me, and there is nothing I can do about it. I thought we were communicating, but apparently it was something less than that for them to walk off feeling as they did.
I suppose I could be misinterpreting things, too, as so much lacks in text only form. A part of me wants to say I am sorry, but another part is asking the question, "for what?"
It is interesting to me how things like this happen. It creates misplaced fault and blame and guilt. In actuality, none of those things needed to be a part of the resulting equation.
Whenever the idea of a "wrong" comes into play, all kinds of emotions and feelings get jettisoned. And wrong isn't inherent in a thing, it comes along with the meaning we attach to it.
I definitely feel conflicted about the whole thing, and I am not sure how I will proceed. The part of me that wants to react is ready to either stop partaking, or partake and just ignore when comments don't show up. Given those are reactionary responses, it remains to be seen what does happen.
And, with that off my chest, I am off to bed. Sweet dreams to you when you get there.
No comments:
Post a Comment