Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Uneasy Edge

I am feeling restless. My stomach hurts. It has been hurting more consistently. I know Avastin can mess with digestion. Hoping it is "only" that, and that it is nothing any worse than how it feels when it feels this way.

I have been making strides getting things unpacked, and have a bunch more to do, but I finally got approval to get interim treatment until I know what is up with my new insurance. Once I get it, all I will want to do is sleep. 


I really hope this new living situation helps me heal. Doing my best to take care of myself, but there is so much to do around a move. I have such a freaking long list. I tried to get to one thing today, but did not get very far.

Tomorrow I have to go back to my last place and move more stuff. We didn't finish the other day. Of course, now I wish we had, but I just could not do any more. I just couldn't.

I thought of going today, except that the temperature was beyond frigid. When I woke up this morning it was a whopping 1 degree outside. Today was a day to stay in. I am grateful I had no where I had to be.

I have never surfed, but I feel like I am riding the edge of a wave. I would like to know that things will be OK. I tell myself to just keep going. Do what feels good. Enjoy meals. Enjoy life. It oesn't matter what the doctors say, there really are no options. I just have to have faith that somehow things will work out in some way that I want them to. 

But there is this uneasy edge...

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