I found out yesterday my friend and I may not have the help we thought we would today. I will know in a few hours. I got on Facebook and made a plea to a community for help.
It will work out. I just wish I didn't have to push so hard. When I do I wind up unable to do anything for several days. And while I want to get unpacked, I am a bit more concerned about what I need to do regarding treatment and my health.
At the same time, unpacking and organizing and sorting and getting rid of stuff is essential to my well-being. Maybe it is the fact that I have been living in chaos for months now, or maybe it is there is so little I control, I want to seem to control something. Maybe I just want to be "normal," and act like I am OK.
It is OK. At least that is what a part of me says while another considers getting out of bed. If it wasn't for having to move, today I would not be getting out from under these covers. I barely feel like I can get out of bed.