A Belated Acknowledgement

This is a wig that was made by the
beautiful Hilda Griffin.  It is the
only natural, real hair wig I own.

(Gorgeous, isn't it?)

Back before I lost my hair I was a
bit freaked.  I was hoping I would
be able to keep my hair, but I went
looking for options before I might
need them.

I thought I had found an option, only
to be told that I had the "wrong" kind
of cancer to be helped.  The person
who was going to help me referred
me to Hilda.


It is apparent that Hilda loves what she does.  She asked me what I wanted,
and then proceeded to work her magic.  The wig is so natural and so beautiful
that the first time I wore it I made mention about "when I had my hair..." the
person I was speaking to looked at me baffled.  She had no idea that what she
was looking at was a wig.

Hilda is in the Philadelphia area, and prefers to deliver her work only to the
individual in person.  When I saw her to get it, I could understand why.  She
wants it to be the best possible fit and look for the person.  It is a shame, though,
for those who aren't in her neck of the woods, but hopefully they can find
someone who can work with them in their area who has the care, concern,
and love that Hilda does for her work, and for those who get to be on the
receiving end of it.

I am so grateful to her for what she created and on such short notice.  As you
know, I did start to lose my hair, and I was quite devastated at first.  But after
receiving this wig I felt much better about my prospects.  I was told the wig
usually lasts about 6 months, but because of some wonderful birthday presents,
I suspect it will be lasting much longer than that.

I hadn't expected to enjoy wearing wigs, but I guess if you are going to have
to wear one, you might as well have some fun with it.  I know some will choose
one as close as possible to what they had before so that others will not know
what is going on.  Since I wasn't able to be as private, I might as well share the
experience of having a few looks to choose from.

I have to say that for as much as we try to say looks "don't matter," they do to
the degree that they do for the individual.  Since beginning chemo I look paler
and more tired than I did before, but because I take extra effort to make myself
up you would never know it.  I look at my pictures sometimes, and am amazed
at what good make-up and a wig and Photoshop can do for you.

Some might say it's cheating.  I think I might be one of them.  But at the same
time, this is one case where I think cheating can be a good thing for all involved.
I tend to think I feel better about myself when I look good, and when I look
good my health isn't what is drawing another's attention.

The cool thing for me, though, is that some of those people who are closest
to me tell me that even without all of the "cheating" I still look good.  I am
not sure I agree, but I am grateful for their belief to the contrary.  Anyone who
is going through a similar situation should have at least one person who can
offer the types of reassurances that I have received.  It is a simple expression
of love that is incredibly powerful.

I would like not to care, but at the same time, doing what I do for my appearance
helps me to feel better.  Whatever that thing is that weaves its magic, I will take it.
It gives me strength in a way that nothing else has.

It makes me feel "normal" again.

I find myself wondering if others have found similar magic.  I also wonder if
there are others dealing with his type of situation who haven't yet discovered
their own magic.  I tend to think this could even apply to someone who hasn't
been diagnosed with cancer, but I think that may be a conversation for another
time perhaps.

So while I may not want to care, the fact is that I obviously do.  And because
of that I am soooo grateful for the things that make a difference, as well as
for those who make it their mission in life to share their talents to create those
things.

(You can find Hilda here, if you think she might be able to work her magic for you.)