Good News* (with an Asterisk)

I didn't sleep much, or well, the night before my results.

I was fairly calm, or so I thought.  My first blood pressure
reading of the day was fairly high.

I did my best to just get to my 10:00 appointment in one
cohesive, thoughtful piece.

The doc asked me how I was.  Well...that depended a lot
on what she had to say.  It turned out that there had been
a concern that was present after my surgery that was not
an issue now.

At the same time there were a few things of note. One of
the places was where I had surgery.  According to the
doctor, though, it is not uncommon, as my body is still
healing.

These are things that fall into the category of things to
watch.  But none of these things to watch seem to
indicate that more chemo than was originally prescribed
will be necessary.

Still crossing my fingers.

At the same time, they now want to do another pet scan
when that time comes, probably in the beginning of
December.  As long as that scan is no worse than what
was seen, or is even a better one, then we wait 3 months,
and do yet another scan.  That scan is clean, they will
take out the port.

One step at a time, though.

My sister was there with me.  I really appreciated her
being there.  I even think she was relieved, touched
that the news was what it was.  I think she may have
been holding back tears before she left.

That touched me.

I was going to acupuncture as she was leaving, so we
didn't really have time.  When I was in the room, I
started to get really emotional, and was feeling really
touched by the love of two of my sisters that have
been there with me.  I was also touched that one of
my sister's kids squealed when she heard I might come
for a visit in November, around Thanksgiving.   To
add to it, this was a niece from the sister I hadn't spoken
to in years.

I am amazed.  In a good way.  A really good way.

As I lay there, I felt like what is going on is something
that I can work with.  I felt like this was a new start.
I felt kind of excited.  If I could get through this, there
were things that would come.  I felt really clear.

I probably felt the most optimistic I have in a long time.

I really feel like this is somehow doable, and that things
will come together, but I don't have a freakin' clue how.

Tonight as I spoke with another sister, she said she
I sounded optimistic.  I was glad to hear that it was
shining through.

This evening there was such a beautiful sunset.  I was
thinking about how it could be a metaphor for the sun
setting on my treatment.  Both are beautiful things.