I was pondering the statement, "Why do bad things happen
to good people." I was thinking about it in the context of
a larger, on-going conversation about life.
There have been so many times in life that I have focused
on something I wanted, but it never happened. Then there
have been times I barely did anything with the desire and
thought, and it happened.
I think about this because there are many around me who
will say that you can create any world you want through the
power of your thoughts. There is even a book that goes
back a few decades that was written by Napoleon Hill
which is called, "Think and Grow Rich."
There is discussion about how we all as humans have this
ability/right to have access to the creation of the life we
want to have. Even a Rockefeller said so.
What I find myself thinking is that maybe we all have a
unique experience of life. And in this unique experience,
we will find things that work for us, and things that don't.
The things that work for us we may be tempted to pass on
to others, to "help" them. Whole industries are built around
this idea. Books written. DVDs produced. Seminars
held. Gurus created.
What if things aren't as we have painted? What if there are
people who have what some (even those experiencing it)
might consider sub-par lives? What if they are "meant" to
have the experiences they have? What if there is some
rhyme or reason that isn't readily apparent?
I can't say that the people who tell me what they do are
wrong, because quite frankly, I don't know that what I
speculate on is right. At the same time, neither do they.
The other day someone was talking to me about "staying
positive," and how I should find ways to do that, as every
word and thought counts. Well. There is someone else
I know who I have had these types of discussions with,
and he isn't so sure that that is true.
This someone isn't happy in his life, and often he just wishes
his time here could come to an end. He isn't going to end
things, but he has been quite depressed and has felt quite
lost. And yet despite his desire for things to end, they keep
going. And this is in spite of the things he has thought and
said.
I sometimes wonder if we do ourselves a disservice
believing that we have power to affect things. And the
reason I wonder this is because then, when those things
we want don't happen or the things we don't want to
happen do, we then go to some negative places.
We also find ways to justify the events, "It was for the
best" or "I must have unconsciously wanted something
else" or "I must not have wanted it badly enough" or
"I must have done something wrong" or "I have to work
harder/smarter/differently next time" or...
Maybe, just maybe, if we stopped labelling experiences as
good or bad or better or worse maybe we wouldn't need to
find ways to change or justify anything. Maybe we wouldn't
compare ourselves to others. Maybe we wouldn't feel
ourselves lacking, or feel jealous of another's "stuff."
Maybe there is no where to get to. Maybe all of the things
we say we want we would be fine without. Maybe we
justify things based on the justifications of others.
Maybe.
I still don't know any more than
I did when I started this entry.
To go back to the beginning, though, I did say I was thinking
about the question "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
As I think about it in the above "maybe" context, I think
about how if nothing is good or bad, then no situation is
bad, and no person is good. It just is.
And if it just is, then all you can do is to look at the "facts."
There are people who will light up a room with their smile.
There are people who can make a difference in just being
who they are. If they take their "bad" situation, and choose
to do something that can help others, who better to do it?
If we were going to label a person as "bad," they aren't likely
someone who could make a difference for others - if for no
other reason, who would be interested/want to listen?
I don't know if we can stop labelling people and things.
I think it possible, I am just not sure how probable it is.
However, if we could do that, it makes me wonder what
kind of world we could have. I suspect it would be very
different than the one we currently exist in.
It also makes me think that people would be a lot less
unhappy about their life and circumstances if they didn't
feel they had to aspire to/live up to some standard that
for many might be impossible (and maybe that is a
"good" thing - for them).
For the record, I understand that for many something to
aspire to helps them develop, change, grow. I get that.
But I also get that there are different things to aspire to,
that might be overlooked in the process of pursuing
the things of the world instead of the things of the soul.
Can they be the same thing? I would imagine it is
possible. And in cases like that, it wouldn't be an
either/or. I suspect we all have our own paths to forge,
which may or may not include something to aspire to.
And while we may have that in common, each path is
going to be unique, and with its own experiences and
resulting perspectives.
Try as we may to make everything uniform, I am not
really sure that there is uniformity. I am not sure that
there is a "one-size-fits-all" answer or approach to
anything.
Of course, my "answer" could seem to counteract
what I have said. It would seem that I would be
saying that my answer is the one. But I am not. I
am asking questions. I am speculating. I am living
and breathing in the world of my experiences. And
within the context that I know, these are the things
that occur to me.
Maybe these things will fit others. Maybe they
won't. Whether you are an "other" that is like me
is something only you can know. Maybe I make
no sense at all to some.
I am not even sure at times
if I make sense to me.
But in the midst of what is happening in my life,
these are the things I wonder about. These are the
things that make up the maze that I am working my
way through. These are the things that sometimes
give me great heartache, and at other times a sense
of comfort.
I have to wonder how much of who I am is what I
truly am, and how much of me is composed of
things from those who have been in my life directly,
or have affected me indirectly through media and
society.
I often feel at odds with things around me, and
things people say. But I suspect that could be a
good thing. It helps me to be more clear about
who I am.
The other day someone on Facebook was asking
people to say who they were. I responded in a
smart ass kind of way, but then it occurred to me
that we learn a lot about who we are through our
interactions with others.
So maybe our differences just help me be more
certain about who I am, which in the end makes
me a better me. A better me, of course, doesn't
mean a me that fits what you or the world thinks
I should be - even though that could be possible.
But I think the "trouble" comes when we somehow
think we know what is best for another, or how is
best for another to be. The world is full of conflict
from the times we try to fix those troublemakers
who don't see things the way we do.
In the end, will any of this really matter?
Maybe not in the end.
But we're not at the end, yet.
For that reason, it might be in our best interests to
appreciate the differences between us as trying to
be the same/conforming might just be enough to
destroy us both at the micro (self) and macro (world)
levels.
And with that, I think I will conclude. That almost
sounds like another blog entry for another time.
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