When someone I knew had to cope with being a caregiver to two people in his life, it was not easy. In fact, it was downright difficult. He didn't have help. The closest immediate family was states away and the next closest couldn't cope well with what was happening, so they stayed at a distance. Friends said if they could help, they should let them know, but when he said he needed help, they weren't available.
There are many times I am reminded of that as i cope with my situation. I never want to be a burden on my friend. If things were to head so south in regard to my general ability to take care of myself, I will have to leave. That is, of course, if I get to stay until that happens. Of course, I hope it never does become an issue. That would suck beyond all suckiness.
I share this along with the website Lotsahelpinghands.com. It is a site that is supposed to help those who are helping others. It is likely the site owners hope that those who help others can get some support before they are at their wits' end. In my friend's case, I don't know that it would have helped, but that doesn't mean it can't help others.
In my experience, too, I don't always know what someone can help me with. My taxes hang over me from the last two years, and nothing about it is organized enough that someone else could step in. I need to organize things and figure out the details to give to the person who does my taxes. No one can do it for me. I don't really know how anyone could help, but if it came down to it, and I needed it, perhaps someone could go grocery shopping for me. I would hate that in a way, too, as it is one of the few ways I get out these days. It was one of the few things I did when I was actively getting chemo. It took a lot of energy and effort and time, and false starts of getting out of the house, and often happened several days after my first intended attempt, but it was nice to get out of the house.
I suppose with my sharing of this I wonder if it will be of any help. I am a witness to how difficult it is for various reasons to get it or ask for it. But that doesn't mean that help isn't possible. I would like to think the site is helpful in some way to those who know how others can help them, and are willing to ask for help.
If you use the site, I would love to hear of the good that comes from it. Please share, if you are willing. Thanks.
Contact Me (Elizabeth Alraune)
Read My Story
View My Vlogs
About this Blog - Click Here
Read about where things are currently
Would you like to be a guest blogger?
Interesting thoughts. When I had my twins (kids # 3 and 4) I really had to let go of my own hangups and let others help me. It was hard. And I like to pay it forward when I can. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so needed. As a person who has been involved with home health care for over 20 years now I know caring for the caregiver is so important.
ReplyDelete