In thinking about what I would like to do for another trip on the road, I came up with this design. It is the same design I have put on a candleholder. I was thinking about how the trip is about those I interact with, as much as it is about me. It is an opportunity for us to touch each other in a way that would likely be possible no other way.
I had made cards for the last trip, but they were for the trip only. At least these cards are more easily used as a matter of course. I still have the postcards that I created for my Cedonaah self, too, but they're not always practical to carry.
I was thinking about the message behind the candleholders. They are fire and they have images of butterflies which are about transformation. The message I would love to convey is about lighting a fire in regard to the conversations we have with cancer in a way that we transform the conversations and interactions we have in regard to cancer and with each other.
It is difficult for me to draft a "message" about what I am doing. I don't want to instill fear, and I don't want to manipulate anyone. At the same time, if it is truly going to impact another, it has to be presented in a way that the other person has to give a damn. If it seems like "just one more" person is dealing with cancer, why in the world would they care - especially if it is someone they have never met, or know?
I often say that this journey is more than "just" about cancer, too. If I can convey that in a way that people will want to pay attention, they may stop tuning cancer out, and me along with it.
I have considered dropping "cancer" from the conversation in order to be heard. The thing is, though, that it doesn't feel right to do that. In some ways it is a way to avoid the topic like so many others already are.
Next week I am going to an ovarian cancer event. In communications with someone about it, I was told that there does not seem to be an ovarian cancer organization that cares about the needs of individuals. The event also is not geared to specific help for individuals. Something like this is often not something I have a desire to partake in because of that fact.
However, this was an opportunity given me by someone, and Shannon Miller will be in attendance. I figure I have to at least show up and try to have a conversation with those in attendance. I have no idea what will come of it - if anything. But I feel like I have to at least try.
Perhaps interestingly, I was given the invite via email which I initially ignored. However, I got a call asking if I was interested. It was at that point I decided to take the leap. I am always asking the question about what I should be doing, and who I should be talking to. Given that this opportunity showed up in a more blatant way, I figure it could be a way of saying, "you missed it the first time, so let's make it more clear for you."
Of course, I could be wrong. But I certainly wouldn't mind being right.
The fact is...I don't know what else to do any way.
*Fingers crossed* for some unanticipated, unexpected outcome that surpasses anything I could ever even consider or create. And if that doesn't happen, at least I have a good time. I do not often get to do things like what the event offers. Thankful for the opportunity.
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