Sweet...

Sensuality.

I write about so many things. I write about so many facets of myself. I write about many taboo-ish types of things. And I have "hinted" at the sensual aspects of myself by some of the pictures I have posted.

Tonight I decided to swim a little more deeply into the waters. I took this picture, and it had me wondering what, if anything, to do with it. My hunch is that it will be too much for some, but for others I suspect it will hit a lovely note.

We human beings are so different, and yet we have facets that are very much the same. We just express them differently.

Last night I watched The Queen. When Lady Diana died, Queen Elizabeth, at least according to the movie, felt that the way that Englishmen mourned was in private. She was surprised to discover that it seemed that there had been a shift when she apparently wasn't looking. Suddenly people were demanding her to be a way she had never before been.

She could have reacted any number of ways, but she reacted the only way she knew. It seemed her mother encouraged the way she acted as well. It was the way it had been, so it was the way it should be.

I find discussions about sexuality and sensuality are at times difficult. At other times, they are met with intrigue and inquiry and excitement. It would seem natural as human beings to be sexual and sensual, and yet in an open forum, it suddenly (for many) often becomes something incredibly taboo.

I see nothing wrong with the picture above. It covers all the pieces people deem pertinent, and yet the sensuality has it bend in a way that could be quite uncomfortable for some. I think there is something warm and wonderful and inviting about the sensual, as it is the stimulation of what we sense. It is the warmth and softness we feel. It is the whisper or bird's song we appreciate. It is the sweetness of taste of chocolate or of fresh baked bread. It is the beauty of the flower or in the sparkle of someone's eyes. It is in the inhalation of the scents that we find of home or of pleasure.

It is in our sensuality that we sense life. It awakens us to the things around us and within us. It gets all distorted when it gets tied to sexuality, especially when someone has a discomfort around it in some way. Is the discomfort justified? It is an interesting question. Is the discomfort of any conversation "justified?' It would seem to depend on who you talk to.

Not only is there discomfort, but discomfort often breeds a sense that something is wrong. It has a way of telling us that we shouldn't be a way many of us would find naturally occurring, if it were not for learning otherwise somewhere along the way.

There are so many pieces of this experience I am having with cancer that cross over into other aspects of life. It is really amazing the more I look at the various parts. At the core of many pieces of life is an inherent discomfort one has for a topic that is expected from others as well. There are, after all, only certain ways to act in an acceptable manner. A problem arises when what is acceptable publicly is at odds with what is more likely occurring behind closed doors. It seems ironic that some of the most verbal opponents of things get caught with their hand in the cookie jar - caught in the very indulgence they are speaking against.

Maybe it is time we found a way to a compromise. Has anyone ever considered that we might have issues because we are trying to push things down and away? Ever notice when you tell someone they can't have something? They want it even more, don't they?

As I am writing, I am reminded of an article that I wrote several years ago called Accepting and Embracing Your Sexual Self. I should post it here at some point, but for now I will just link to it elsewhere on the web, if you are interested in reviewing it. Be forewarned, though, I speak quite openly and frankly.

I am not sure how I can talk about myself fully without fully embracing this aspect of myself in the conversation. There will likely be more to come. Cue the dramatic music? "Dum. Dum. Dum." Personally I would prefer something a bit more sensual, if you don't mind.

And if you do mind, I am not quite sure what to say to you about it. I respect that maybe you would appreciate me not being so open or frank about things. In the same way I respect that people think I am too open and too frank about other things - like, say - cancer. But the thing is, I feel it is important to write about the things I do and to share.

I can't - or won't - make anyone read anything that I write. If it gets too uncomfortable for you, I'll never know if you excuse yourself to more familiar territory. And, even if I did know, good for you. We should all respect ourselves enough to know what and who we should expose ourselves to, and stay away from the rest.

Hm. No pun was intended there. But it is an interesting one none-the-less. And I think a great note to end on.

Til next time.