I recently got a call from someone about hypnosis. The person is already working with a hypnotist, but was looking for a recording to amplify the changes they wanted to make.
As we spoke, I was pretty much talking them out of getting one. I was explaining things about how our mind and how hypnosis works, and why it might not be the most effective choice - if effective at all.
Sometimes people say hypnosis doesn't work. Many times the reason for that is that the effect is addressed, but not the factors that originated those effects. Find the core, and it is like finding the key that unlocks everything.
It can be like magic. There are times that the cause of something was thought nothing of in the mind when it first happened. It was something that "just" happened, and it became am undifferentiated part of the landscape of the individual.
In speaking with the person on the phone, I was doing the opposite of a sales pitch. I wasn't trying to sell them, and I was giving everything away.
It is not that I did not value myself or my work - as some would readily suggest. It was that I valued and loved this person enough to share what felt right to share - without putting conditions or a dollar value on it.
Ironically, perhaps, I wrote something yesterday asking for financial help. I am down to my last $2000 in the bank. I needed the sale. I needed the money.
But it turned out that I needed to be who I am even more. I have said time and again that I am willing and able to give of myself, and that is in great part my intention for a trip.
In addition, I have found that there are times people help me, and I help others. And there are times I help others who help others still. It is part of the beauty of this thing we call life.
While what happened yesterday may not be tangible in dollars and cents, I just smile and shake my head. There is so much about life that just doesn't fit the expected parameters.
In speaking with the person, I was not only "pushing" them away from what they called initially for. I was also giving them something they didn't even know they could get. I started to talk about dealing with cancer and my blog.
Can you imagine? Who freaking does that? Well. Me. Apparently.
I talked about it because my story related to why the person was calling - even though the reason had nothing to do with cancer or illness. It had to do with them being able to love and appreciate - and be - themselves.
I would be willing to bet that is the desire of most anyone, and where many of our issues stem from. When we love and accept ourselves, it can change the landscape of our life - in a big, beautiful way. It may upset those around us, but what it offers internally, and in regard to ourselves, has so much value, it could not be more worth it.
There were times yesterday I had no idea what I was going to say. I just went with what came out. At the end, I even said something about how I felt about the person intuitively.
It wasn't sought. It wasn't asked for. But it felt right, and seemed to be appreciated. I am certain that phone call was nothing like the person thought it should be, and what they were calling, and willing, to pay for. But it also seems like a good thing, not only for them, but for me, too.
There are times I really question my value in the world because so many are silent or ignore me these days because they cannot see past the cancer. As a result, the opportunities I get to be the person I know I am is when I take someone by surprise and give them what they didn't even know they were looking for.
Strangers often seem more receptive to me than those I know. Those who "know" me likely know who they think I am, while with strangers I get to be more of who I indeed am. They don't get a chance to put up their defenses. They are taken off guard.
Part of my dilemma is that who and what I am does not come neatly packaged. Most people have come to believe they are faulty and need to be fixed, and that there are others (who often charge a lot of money) who will tell them exactly what is wrong and what they need. All kinds of bullet points. After all, you need to know what you are buying, right?
Well. Maybe not.
Maybe we believe a lot of things that sounded good at one time it another, but really are only superficial fixes and distractions.
If i had tried to sell myself yesterday, I likely would have not only failed to make money, I would have failed that person and myself. Instead I gave them a gift that came from me being who I truly am, and not a packaged good. They got better than what they came for.
In the process, I got to be me.
In the end, I was unattached to an outcome. If they think I can help, they have my number, and perhaps I can make some money. If not, that is OK, too. Maybe it was exactly as it needed to be, and all it needed to be.
When I woke up this morning, there were a few donations that were not there last night. Are the two things related? I haven't a clue. But I am grateful for those who do see value in me enough to support me as I try to find my way through this maze.
Sometimes the belief of others is all we got to get us by. It is not that we should not have our own, but there are just times it is hard to come by. Sometimes we only find it by standing vulnerably out on a limb and doing the very thing no one - including ourselves - thinks we should do.
It often means doing things without a net. And it is scary as hell. But the thing is, when we are truly who we are meant to be we connect in a very profound way.
When that happens, time stands still. We are at peace. And nothing matters other than our mutual heartbeat. Nothing is more amazing. And even though there are times money is involved, it has more value than anything ever could with a price tag.
Maybe it is no wonder we aren't there more, we are all too busy shopping for the best deals for the things we have been told we need to fix those things about us we are told are faulty.
Moments like I described above exist outside of anything we think we know. They happen when we don't expect them, and they certainly cannot be planned for.
I think they are most likely the ones we live for.