Tuesday, February 25, 2014

You Can Have Everything?

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.

Zig Ziglar

Zig was awesome to watch speaking. He was quite dynamic. So many love Zig's work, and much if it does sound pretty awesome. However, these days I am on a kick, questioning the things we have taken on as Gospel, and I question this statement, and this is why.

I am a person who has done a lot of things to help people over the years. Many times I even extended myself for free. There are many things over the years that I have also wanted - but not gotten. 

By Zig's "equation" it would seem that for as much as I had done, I had not done enough because if I had, I would have netted the things I wanted. Is it possible that he could be right? I believe there is a good chance that it doesn't quite work that way.

There is something to be said for caring for others, and wanting to help them. There is something to be said for considering more than just yourself, but the thing is there are times we might cost ourselves more by overreaching to others than it does overall good.

There are also statements like this that keep you playing the second-guessing game. Did you do enough? Did you do the right thing? The best thing? What is lacking? How can I make it work? So many questions that net a whole lot of nothing positive.

One might try to make the case for it keeping you on your toes/striving, and suggest that it could be a good thing. I am not so sure.

It seems to me that we can't always get what we want, so there is no magic to make it happen. And yet, it is what we want to, and are sometimes desperate to, believe. We will want it so much we will spend all kinds of money to learn the secrets and/or what is wrong about us/the way we think of things or live our life.

Maybe our goal shouldn't be to figure out how to get stuff. Maybe we are focused in the wrong direction. 

I remember hearing how good it was to seek success and money, as it helps you do stuff for others. I kinda bought into it for a while, but something about it just felt off to me. It probably didn't help that in some part it was being used to justify spending thousands on programs.

I may seem to be picking on money, but it is just an example. If we weren't so busy focusing on what others thought we should be, who would we be? 

This not to say there is no value in programs. I have found pieces of myself in them over the years. But, rather, to question how often we seem willing to allow another to help us override ourselves because there is something we could be doing better to get that thing we want. 

We have seemed to be trained to want. Aspire. Great word. Positive connotation. But if you are who you are in this moment, there is no room for aspiration. It is something for the future. 

What if we more fully lived in the now? What if we more fully made choices not by what we aspire to, but by what feels right in this moment? My guess is that those two things will not always align, and may even at times be in conflict.

So, with all due respect to a man who seemed to be full of a lot of love for his fellow man, and for someone who has likely helped many, I disagree. For anyone who feels differently, and it works for you, awesome that you have something that works for you.

But for anyone who also may feel like it doesn't exactly add up, you are not alone.

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