Feeling Craptastic

Oh. What. Fun. Is a life with chemo treatment. Said no one, ever. And if they ever did, they had to be lying. I am back to taking a bunch of supplements. It was also suggested I take a medication for constipation. While I am not a big fan of medications, I thought I would give it a try.

Well. That experiment sucked. I had painful cramps that kept escalating for a while. The doctor said the most common side effect was diarrhea, and it was not likely to happen for a few days, if at all. He said nothing of cramps. 

It was a horrid night between the cramping from the medication and the bone pain from Neulasta, a shot given to help my body maintain white blood cells. Someone online said death was better than the pain of Neulasta. It certainly is the worst it has ever been, despite my trying to take things that are supposed to help with the side effect. I think something is missing, as it worked before, but doesn't seem to be working now.

The doctor told me that they had given me a smaller dose of chemo since it was the first time. The idea was that they were going to increase it this past time. I cringed. Last month was horrid. I could not imagine getting a bigger dose. Thankfully it wasn't bigger. I am already suffering enough.

I am supposed to take the constipation medication daily. I don't think I will ever take it again. I will just have to keep playing with other options to get things going. It sucks. It all sucks. I wish there was some good choices within the stuff I have to deal with, but the choices are usually between bad and worse.

Some people online talk about the bad cramping, as well as weight gain from the medication, I certainly do not need either. I even told the doctor that I am often the exception to the rule. Once again, I have proven that "fact." There is likely a reason I haven't taken medications over the years, and it is because I do not handle them particularly well. Although it was likely an intuitive choice, more than any conscious one. I probably just "knew."

At one point several years ago I had trouble sleeping. I told my doctor, and she prescribed Ambien. I did not like the way it made me feel. I don't think I used it more than a couple of times. I have since heard tales of those who use it, and they're not the best. It sounds like it was a good thing I did not continue.