So much of everything

Yesterday was almost too good to be true. While I wasn't feeling super, I wasn't feeling as crappy as I was a month ago. I even ate a real meal.

But then today came. 

I am having an awful time. My system is not happy. Things are not leaving. It is causing cramping and nausea. I was in tears earlier from the horrible pain. Thank goodness I vetoed the drug that had me cramping the other day. I'd probably be going out of my mind. Although the drug is supposed to help things move, so who knows what fun I would actually be having if I was brave enough to try it again.

I went downstairs to get some watermelon. It is what saved me some last month. Hoping it helps in some way now. But as I came back upstairs I noticed how weak I am. I started to cry. I started to cry not only for the weakness, but for everything.

And there is so much of everything.