So many people make judgments when it comes to those who ask for financial support. It is Ok to ask for "x," but if you ask for "y," then nope, you ain't gonna get my money. Being one of those people asking for help makes me particularly sensitive to this conversation. Sometimes I am not sure what to do with the things people say and do around this - even when not directed at me.
If you really want to help another, you can start by stopping the judgment. You get to decide what you will do, and if you will do it, but you will do everyone involved a favor by perhaps giving less, and giving without an expectation than giving with some sort of moral strings, and putting yourself on some sort of pedestal.
As much as it may suck to consider, you may one day find yourself on this side of the fence (don't think you'll ever be here? Well...no one ever plans on it...) and need the help of others to get by, and it is just gonna suck when you are face-to-face with people whose ideas resemble your former self. You will know how real things are, and you will know you are legit, but you may also know you're screwed, except for the rare and willing person who will be the one to try to help. And, even then, you may be still be screwed any way because it is no where near enough.
If you want to make a difference for others, then stop finding excuses not to. You never know what will make a difference for another. It wouldn't be your choice? It wouldn't be how you'd handle it? That's fine. It is also not your circumstance, and if it was yours, I can practically guarantee you would likely prefer to handle things your own way, and without the judgment of others.
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