In the last few days, I have eaten a banana, 4 or 5 pretzels, a little bit of yogurt (a couple ounces, maybe) and watermelon. I thought the watermelon would be a good choice, given it is mostly water. Afterward I started cramping.
I also still have to be careful what goes in, as things are taking their time finding the Exit Door.
I am really struggling with just about everything at the moment. It would be nice if we didn't have to eat. But the fact is, it is one way I have enjoyed life. I have enjoyed baking and cooking. It is really hard to think of having a Quality of Life when there doesn't seem to be any.
I have slept almost around the clock for several days now. I can barely stand at times. Going up and down steps is ridiculously slow, and I have to be sure to hold onto the railing so I have a brace. But I am so weak, I am not sure how much help I could really be to myself. Earlier I bent down to get the watermelon out of the bottom drawer, and had difficulty standing up.
When I was on Cisplatin last summer it was in smaller doses and miserable. I cannot even begin to imagine how it would have been in only one dose. I am fairly sure I have had a cake walk until now. And if that doesn't tell you something about what many must go through with treatment - especially if you know what I have been through - then I don't know what would.
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