Friday, June 5, 2015

Some People Walk into the Middle of a Movie...and Walk Out

Some people never see a movie because of what they think they know about it.

Some people never see a movie because of the review it receives - what other people think about it.

Some people see a piece of the movie, and think they know what the whole movie is about.

Some people walk into the middle of the movie, and walk out because they don't like what they see.

Some people can only take getting upset about the plot of a movie, as long as it gives them a Happy Ending.

Some people won't interact with me because of what they think they know of me and cancer.

Some people won't interact with me because of what they have come to believe about me or about cancer through society and the media.

Some people will see a blog post, or a small piece of me, and think they can fully understand everything about me and my situation.

Some people walk into the middle of my story, and because it seems "negative," leave and never come back because they don't want that "negativity."

Some people can't take the fact that my situation, and things I say, may upset them and things are made worse because I don't take them to a Happy Place afterward - and make everything better.

I have been thinking about how our society enables us in being self-focused. If anyone wants to sell you something, they would be wise to find whatever makes you feel good about a purchase. They may even utilize making you feel badly in the process, but as long as they don't leave you there, there may be a good chance you will do what they want you to. 

However, if they were to talk to you about how they were going to use the money you gave them for the sale, you would likely just laugh - or get angry - and walk away. Why would THAT interest you? Why would it interest you to know that your purchase is in some way helping the other person? You might consider it, but it would probably be secondary - if even that - and unlikely to be any kind of motivation to buy.

What is interesting to me is that there seems to be an inherent agreement that we might care to pay attention to something that makes us feel badly, as long as we can feel good before it is all said and done. Think about all of those movies that have had a Happy Ending, that have HAD to have a Happy Ending. Audiences who watch a movie without it are more likely to grumble, and say bad things about it, than when they can walk away feeling good. In turn, they will be willing to spend their money next time.

I think part of the problem when it comes to my situation is that people aren't willing to allow themselves to get to the more positive pieces of my journey. Granted, there may be times there do not seem to be many, if any. I realize it can be hard to take. 

In relaying my reality, I don't make them feel good about themselves, their lives, or give them "feel good" reasons to help me, or get to know me. Quite frankly, when I think about it, I am not sure a person in need should have to make you feel good to help them. It is not the same as making a purchase. Can you imagine homeless people lining up making their sales pitches to get help? Can you imagine them coming up with the stuff that makes you feel bad and then gives you features and benefits? 

It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? It sounds like a really bad reality TV program. And, yet, that is practically what people want when it comes to those who need help. If they are going to do something, especially when it comes to their money, they better feel good about it, otherwise just forget it. All kinds of reasons and excuses will arise so that they feel good about what they don't do.

I suspect there will be people who will read this, and think it sounds harsh. I am sure there will be those who will read it differently coming from someone in need, vs someone speaking on behalf of others. But the fact is, I am speaking for all of us. This is not just about me. Most of the things I say rarely are. 

A lot of the things I say aren't easy to take in. I have been told some question themselves when they read what I write. They tell me that the things I say make them feel uncomfortable.

It is not that I want to do that. But what I want to do is very difficult coming from a flowery, pleasant, positive sounding place. There is so much of that flowery, pleasant sounding positive stuff that sounds good, but then goes no where. NO WHERE.

If you are uncomfortable, you will think about something much more than if you are comfortable. 

I don't really care where you wind up in terms of my conversations. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything (at least I don't think so). What I want to do is make people think about why they do and don't do. I want them to get off auto-pilot, stop defaulting to reasons and excuses that prevent them from acting, and perhaps consider a different way of looking at things, maybe even listen more to their heart.

So much of marketing is based in the head. If we were to use our heart more, we would know so much better when we should do something, and which someone to do that something for. I know that there are many calls for help these days, and it can be all too overwhelming, but that is a problem the brain has. The heart listens very differently.

All I could ever hope for, or even ask for, is that people would start interacting with their heart more. I suspect it would help in ways none of us could truly fathom, given where most of us seem to operate from currently.

But even still, I can hope/wish all I want, but people are gonna do what people are gonna do. The question I have, though, is would they do the same stuff if they sat back and thought about things a bit more, or in a different way?

Interestingly, it occurs to me that if I get past this, and have a story of conquering cancer, and survival, then people may be more likely to pay attention. They will want to jump to the end, to the good parts. Yes, I went through this, and that, and the other thing, but look where I am then. The important pieces won't be what got me there, but the fact that is where I am.

Right now, though, the experience for many is that they have walked into the unpleasant middle with an uncertain outcome, and just can't handle it.

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