All Over Da Place

Apparently salty pretzels are good to eat when you
are having bouts of diarrhea.  Another good, and
likely necessary, thing are drinks with electrolytes.
Apparently when one is presented in a situation in
which one has to choose to eat or to drink in cases
of diarrhea, the drinking of liquid with electrolytes
is the most important thing to do.

Aren't you glad you know that now?

I have had two doses of chemo now, and even
though I thought I knew what to expect the second
time, my body decided to do something different.

Last time Day 4 I was pretty much feeling back to
myself.  This time, Day 4 is sucking.  I can't stand
up straight.  I really don't want to move because
when I do, it hurts.  It seems movement of the "non"
kind is the only kind that I can "stomach." (Bad pun,
given that is what is actually hurting).

There are so many times I want to just act like
everything is just fine.  But it is not.  But, if one goes
by the Buddha, then it really is, whether I think so,
or not.

So is it fine?

What makes it that way?  I found in the last couple of
days that I was craving a hamburger.  That was after
only a few days before saying how bored I was with
what I was eating (which included hamburger).

Everything just seems so dang appealing right now.
Of course, it is because I can't have it.  Or rather, I
could have it, but likely with unpleasant consequence.

Funny how being human is sometimes.  How often do
we want what we can't have, only because we "can't"
have it?

I haven't quite figured out how to live my life with
this situation.  It is nearly impossible to plan most
anything.  Anything that needs to be planned feels
like an ordeal.  One really needs to be healthy to
be able to deal with the details that come from not
being so well.  It is no wonder those who are caregivers
probably go out of their mind with all that they have
to deal with.

If you know someone who is dealing with a situation
like mine, and you are willing to reach out, maybe
there is something you can do for them.  Maybe you
can call an organization for help/guidance, help fill
out some paperwork, make a meal, go to the store,
help with the laundry.

Some things obviously take more effort than others.
At the same time, even the little things can loom
large in a time like this.

I just re-read what I wrote.  I know:  it is all over the
place.  You should be in my head.  At least when I
am well, I am able to pull the reins in some.  Right
now, though, I don't have it in me.

I decided this blog was more for me than anything
(or anyone) else.  At the same time, if it gives you a
clue of what is going on with me, great.  If it gives
you something to consider, great.  If it helps you in
some way, great.

At the very least, it is the very real experience of
someone having an unexpected encounter and
relationship with cancer.