Speaking Up

I was just writing another blog entry, but found my
thoughts tripping over themselves.  Funny how when
one takes what others think into consideration, it
tends to have a constipating effect.

It was an entry in which I was working through 
what I was thinking, at the same time thinking about
what others would think.  It was taking forever, and
I just decided to shelve it for the moment.

It is really important to me that I express myself
right now.  I have often filtered things for the sake
of what others may hear/experience.  While that is
probably a good thing in the grand scheme of things,
I think I have unintentionally stifled myself at times
as a result.

I think we all have a "right" to be ourselves without
there being some cast of characters in our life coming
out with their judgments of us and our actions.  At
the same time, how often do you stifle yourself, too?

How often do people get tried in a public forum for
being themselves?  I heard of some athlete who
tweeted something unapologetically at first, only
to recant when people got upset with what was said,
and it was jeopardizing her ability to go to the
Olympics (she has since been removed from the team).

There may be others at the Olympics who think like
she does, but because they never took to a public
forum, are still able to compete.  As long as there
are reverberations from the environment in which
we live, most of us will find many experiences to
be someone other than who we truly are.

(It occurs to me that we aren't necessarily what we
say, and that we may still be able to be who we
are without the expression of words.  At the same
time, if part of being ourself  has a need/desire for
expression, then we may just be repressing
a part of ourself when we repress our speech).

I suspect editing can be good on occasion.  However
I also suspect there are people who are like me:
they do it more than they need to because they
think it matters more than it likely does.