It Won't Come Soon Enough

There is something I want "A" to do for me, so we were
talking recently. I really hadn't expected to have a
conversation with him about other things. He has made
no effort to be in contact with me, after all.

But we did talk, and there was something that he said
that bothered me. I doubt he said it to bother me, and I
also suspect he doesn't have a clue as to why what he
said bothers me.

We talked but then, we couldn't do what I had asked of
him. So we agreed we would do it another day. He then
sent me a message that also bothered me, too.

This time I responded.

I told him how I felt. I told him what it felt like when
he said the things he did. I was aware that it might sound
like I was telling him how to be, so I addressed that, and
said that I was only saying what I was so that he knew
how I felt. If he chose to continue to deal with me in the
same way that he has been, I told him I would deal with
it, so he would know that I didn't expect him to do anything
differently.

At the same time, I need to decide if I can handle it. In
time I know I will be able to - just not now. Although I
don't know if we will be talking much longer. I am not
sure there really is much of a point.

The last thing I said to him was, "one day I will be able to
be happy for you wthout being sad for me...and believe me,
that day won't come soon enough."

It really won't.