Opening the Door

What a day.

So much for not working at all.

And of course I wish I had gotten more done.

But I am already fading again.

I wanted to write this blog, though, while I
was thinking about it. I don't want to lose
my thoughts. Thankfully it isn't happening
as much as it used to - but it still does.

I have been finding an interesting thing is
happening as I talk to people about my
cancer experience. Actually, there are a
few interesting things.

One.
It seems for many that I get there attention
in a way that I didn't before I mentioned
the diagnosis.

Two.
A good percentage of those I talk to tell
me about their experience, whether it is
their own diagnosis, or that of someone
who they know and care about.

Three.
They seem to welcome the freedom and
opportunity to share.

I also find there is a freedom in my ability
to speak the truth of my situation. There were
several times in the last couple of days that
I was open about my situation in a way that
likely surprised the people I was talking to.

And I was open because to not be would
have been one, either more awkward for me
or two, I would have done something I
either didn't want to do, or made no sense
to do.

I could have also have just kept my mouth
shut, and kept walking. Had I done that,
though, the conversations that I had that
wound up being incredible gifts, would
never have transpired.

I got to thinking, too, that when we aren't
being true to ourselves in the moment, we
are using a lot of energy. That might even
be a reason why I don't hold back like I
used to. I have limited energy, and what I
do have, I am not going to use that way.

In one of the conversations I heard about
someone who lost one of his family members
to cancer and how it seemed to him that people
didn't want to talk to him about who he lost.

But HE DID.

I am going to see if I can reach out to him.
I would love if he'd be willing to share his
perspective here.

We need to talk about these types of things. It is so CLEAR to me how important and needed it is. But so often people say nothing for a myriad of reasons, all of which likely make sense and are darn good.

But sometimes a reason could come along that changes all of that. I would really love for the conversation around cancer to open up to the point that it is no longer taboo and uncomfortable. For it to get to the point that it stops being a block and starts to be an opening and an opportunity. I would love for people to have the freedom to be themselves and to talk about what is going on with them.

There is a lot of love and a lot of pain that gets covered up with the mask many feel they need to wear. And it applies to things other than cancer, too. The cover up applies to many facets of life.


The freedom to be who we are is an incredible
thing - but one not easily claimed. I have claimed
it in great part because of the diagnosis I faced.
I wouldn't have minded if I could have gotten
there without it, but nothing propels you forward
more than something that tells you time might
be running out faster than you thought.

I have told more than one person that I hope
they don't have to stare down their own diagnosis
of some sort to get them into gear and out of
their discomfort.

It's not easy coming out of my shell. But I see
and experience and urgency like never before.
I mentally got all of the sayings before being
diagnosed, but when you really get it, get the
meaning behind the words, that is when things
can really shift.

So this started out as one thing, and ended up
as something else, and yet it is all a part of one
thing, and that is your ability to truly be yourself
and to be able to express that self with a kind
of freedom that should not be reserved "just"
for those who have been sick with a major
illness.

It is amazing to be able to speak freely, and it
is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
It won't be the easiest thing, but it has the
possibility of being the best thing you ever do
for yourself.

signed with lots of JoLoPe*,
Elizabeth

*JOyLOvePEace