Thanks Carboplatin

Last week I had a reaction to one of
the two chemo drugs they have me
on called carboplatin.  It is a standard
drug used in the treatment of ovarian
ca (apparently the shorthand of docs
for ovarian cancer).

It also seems that for many people,
treatment #7 is the one that there
is a reaction to the drug.  They never
told me that, though.  Not that I
needed to know, I suppose.  However
after the reaction I had last week I got
scared because I saw some people had horrific reactions.

I had the reaction again this last treatment.  From what I was
told the horrific reaction likely came as a result of not watching
the person being treated.  Apparently you can catch the reaction
in the early stages and do what you need to to counteract it.

The docs weren't certain they wanted to classify what happened
two times ago as a reaction, but as a precaution they gave me
some drugs to help minimize what might happen.  At one point
I freaked a bit because I felt it was hard to swallow.  It may have
been an overreaction caused by fear.  I felt we were watching
for something to happen.

But as the nurse stayed with me, we just talked, and as I was
getting closer to the dose being completed, we thought I might
get through it.  But then, about the same time as last time, my
palms started to get itchy.

Apparently carboplatin and I need to now part ways.  It seems
my body has built up defenses against it.  When I think about it,
I am amazed.  The body says this is enough, and it stops it from
being something that can come into my body without my body
now saying this needs to stop by causing a reaction.

At the same time it makes me think more than ever about how
whatever happens with me needs to be approached from a non-
medical standpoint, as well.  It makes me think about the mind/
body and spiritual connection.  If I was someone whose body
didn't want to cooperate medically, this alternative approach
would actually be the only option I would have.

As I write that, I think about how my body isn't an easy one
when it comes to the typical medical interventions here.  It makes
me wonder if it is trying to tell me that I NEED to be certain to
be looking in other places, besides the medical field.

In the spirit of looking at chemo as an ally, and since it is
apparent we must now part ways, I feel I must thank it
for its contribution to my journey, and for all that it has done for
me.  Thanks for all that you have done for me carboplatin,
and for what you have shown me about me, my body, and my
journey.

Fare thee well.

I will find out later this week what is next.  I might get a
replacement drug, and I also might just continue with the
one remaining.  After my next treatment I will also be half
way through.  And then three treatments later I will be having
a pet scan which is a scan that shows if there is cancer in a
person's body.

The doc says she doesn't expect to see anything.
I like the sound of that.