Not long after, I started feeling depressed. There are things going on in my life that are making me question my value in being here.
It seems very few people seem to give a damn about me, my situation, the things I say. If what I say doesn't matter, and my say is all I got these days, why the hell am I here?
I haven't been able to do art or jewelry, or pretty much anything except sleep, eat, and lay in bed. This is not only no life, it is a lonely, alone one.
What is the point?
I have been crying on and off. I am so tired of so many things, and a part of me wants to include "life" on the list.
I realize the dichotomy. Asking for a life affirming, clear scan while a part of me seems more than happy to exit.
I also recognize that my meaning can't be wrapped up in stuff or other people. But just because I recognize it doesn't mean I know what the hell to do about it.
Such a freaking emotional day. I am not handling anything very well. In fact, it is pretty much the opposite of "well."