Feeling Sad

 

I am feeling sad. I was just moving around some of my art pieces. There are so many. For a while I was reluctant to make more as I did not want to wind up having to store the work. At some point I overrode that, I decided to "just" create.

There were also a couple of people who had wanted to do shows for me, but that has apparently fallen through. So here my art sits. It doesn't feel like the way it is "supposed" to be.

But I do not know what to do right now. It is not like there aren't a number of things that could be done. It is not like I need ideas. It is so hard to do anything when most of my day is spent in bed.

I would love it if others could help get the word out about my art. But despite repeatedly asking, it just ain't happening. And it takes energy to ask. And I often feel like I am running on fumes these days. 

It doesn't help that I struggle with just about everything these days, including whether I will wind up living or dying. Of course, I will die. We all will. But I question just how much I have to give to a life that doesn't seem to care if I am here, or not.