From earlier today...forgot to "publish."
I just got enough energy to go downstairs so that I could manage to get something to eat. I noticed as I slowly went down the steps that my body actually aches.
Overall it often feels crappy, but a lot of what I feel then is focused on my stomach and head. Just before I felt it in my buttcheek. I tried to minimimize what I felt there, but that put more on my opposite foot, which is very dry, and has resulting issues from that.
I am guessing the aches are from the loverly Neulasta they give me to prevent me from getting a life threatening infection my body would not potentially be able to fight off, thanks to chemo.
I should have stayed down there, but my bed isn't there, and it will be a hour before the food is heated. I am glad I have "Ready Made" food to eat. The "only" problem is that it is frozen, and takes a bit to re-heat. It may seem crazy, but everything I am describing is an ordeal, and takes a whole lotta effort. On a day like this, I barely have any, but I hope that eating something will in some way help.
I still can't help but laugh at the whole "exercise" thing. I can freaking, barely move.
I have been trying to think about stuff. If I am gonna get on a trip, I have things I need to get done, and plan for. I am moving at a snail's pace. Hopefully it will be a sufficient pace to get the things done that need to be done.
I also hope that I will be able to make the trip. It is a lot less ambitious than the one previously. Not quite sure where I will be, but I will be on the road a lot less than last time. I admit I am a bit more fearful this time, given the different circumstances. It may not be the wisest choice on any level. At the same time, it feels like something I really should do.
If it was to be now, I'd be in so much trouble. I can barely move, and feel like crap. But hopefully several weeks from now I will be getting back to some semblance of myself.
The plan is to head north, and then head south. Or head south, and then head north. I imagine I will only drive an hour, or two, at most, each day. At first, it may seem almost ridiculous, given I will be so close to home, but you gotta start somewhere, right?
A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step - or something like that.
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