Tuesday, August 18, 2015


I saw a picture of what I would ordinarily think was a delicious looking burger. It didn't give me that "delicious" feeling, though.

It is amazing how much of a contrast there is between mouth-watering delicious and ugh. Times like this I have no interest in food. The doctor wanted to give me a medicine to combat that feeling.

I suppose if I was really skinny, and had to eat, maybe I'd be interested. But, quite frankly, I am appreciating the fact that I am dropping some weight.

I don't know if the medicine would make me feel better, or just make me want to eat. If only the latter, I think it would suck worse than it already does.

Given how much food has meant to me, it is fascinating to be in this place. It is such a contrast. And it is one that I don't really get "used to." I am amazed every time when it shows up.

I feel like my relationship with food is shifting. I am much more aware when I indulge. It is with intention. Before it would come in sideways. It would happen, but not necessarily by conscious choice. 

Because my digestion is so wonky now, it can't happen that way. I have to not only choose what I am choosing, but my body has to be in a "good" place to allow it. 

On top of that, I am wind up eating less. My stomach has likely shrunken. It seems I am often satisfied with much less than used to be the case.

My guess is that it is Ok, as my bloodwork seems to be Ok. I must be getting what I need ultimately, even if there are a few days that my diet is mostly comprised of hard, sourdough pretzels and electrolyte drink.

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