Friday, August 21, 2015


So tired of feeling crappy.

So tired of being tired of feeling crappy.

So tired of no life.

So tired of not doing much of anything.

So tired of being lethargic.

So tired of just existing.

So tired of not being able to sleep.

So tired of my stomach hurting.

So tired of not being able to move.

So tired of the cloud over me. The heavy, dark cloud.

So tired of not caring/barely caring about anything.

So tired of having to consider every little move.

So tired of wanting something, or to do something, only for it to happen days later - if at all.

So tired of struggling.

So tired of being alone.

So tired of chemo.

So tired of dealing with cancer.

So tired of my digestive system struggling to work.

So tired of being worried about how I am going to take care of myself.

So tired of nothing in my life being certain, or even being able to exist with the illusion that it is.

So tired of being ignored or misunderstood.

So tired of begging for help.

So tired of needing help.

So tired of all too often being someone I haven't known myself to be, fearful on some level I am becoming this person.

So tired of not being able to be the myself I have known myself to be.

So tired of being depressed.

So tired of crying.

So tired of coughing.

So tired of being judged because I ask for help.

So tired of my brain taking frequent pauses in which I lose words and my train of thought.

So tired of people trying to tell me what is possible when they have no clue just how impossible a lot of what I am dealing with is.

So tired of being told what to think, how to think, what to take, what to eat.

So tired of being a target for multi-level marketers and their "miracle" products. 

So very tired.

On the other hand, very much appreciating the breeze coming through my window right now. 

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