Thursday, August 27, 2015

When it's all you know...

I get annoyed when I see some things. I am not totally sure why, but I have a suspicion about what might be a part of it. Although I am still trying to put it into words as I write.

I realize titles aren't everything, but the thing is, I think, for some - they are. If a title says you can do something with ease and grace and look like a 10 doing it, well then that is all one might think they need to know.

But in the process of titling things in this "upbeat" and "empowering" way, I suspect there may be times it doesn't exactly support us. There may be times it actually can set us up to fail. If you say I should be able to have ease, and grace, and look like a 10, but I don't - is there something wrong with me?

Some might argue you gotta give people what they think they want to get 'em in the door, but once they are there, you can give 'em anything you like. It might sound good to you, but if you are on the receiving side of this potentially painted "good for you" deception, you might not be so happy about it. And, even if it is on target to the title, you still might find yourself momentarily inspired, but ultimately disappointed.

Over the years I have gone to many different types of seminars and read countless numbers of books. There was a lot that sounded good, and had me plop down my money.

But the thing is, there was often very little that had much bearing on "reality." What they would do would be to draw me in on the unhappiness or discontent of my reality, only to tell me how I needed to make a new one. If I came away and was unsuccessful in doing that, it was MY fault, or my unconscious' fault. 

Here is the thing, though: how much control and say do we truly have about our life, and how it looks? Some - especially those trying to sell us something - will tell us we have a lot.

I saw a video today from someone who doesn't believe in God, at least not the one we have been taught about, and taught to serve by religions. If there turned out to be a God when he dies, he wants nothing to do with "Him." 

To this man, how could God create a world with so many illnesses and issues? If there is a God, what kind of God creates the kind of messy world we live in?

I raise this not as a point of discussion/debate, but rather as interesting perspective that I had not heard before.  For many, God is an absolute.

This "thing" that is in no way seen or experienced in an absolute and tangible and repeatedly provable way is considered absolute by many. These many have their ways of dealing with the uncertainties with catch phrases of certainty. Some are even saying them as they are drowning.

Perhaps that works for them. In the same way, perhaps it works for those who believe that somehow, some way, they can control their life and destiny. Yesterday and the day before and today are not necessarily going my way, but I CAN change it.

For some, a change comes. For some a  "miracle." Healing. For others, disappointment.

What is the difference? Is one more deserving than the other? One a stronger believer? These are the kinds of things we conjure up to try to explain the unexplainable.

Certainly it would seem that a "truth-telling" title could be less enticing/seducing than one that seems to indicate you can "have it all." Your life might be miserable enough, why would you want to hear something that doesn't tell you you can fix it?

At the same time, we allow ourselves to entertain the idea that we "weren't ready to hear something before," and that is why maybe we need the same message repeatedly stamped on our head. We give ourselves reasons for previous perceptions of failure. 

What if things just are what they are? What if they are just how they are "supposed" to be? What if nothing about you needs to be fixed, tweaked, or transformed? At least IN THIS MOMENT. 

And, what if, the moment a change comes, then things shift from one "supposed to be" to a different one? And, what if, the moments of change that are "supposed" to happen come not from a form of coercion - as in you "have" to make this happen - but rather from what naturally flows from what is?

It might sound as though I am saying it is "easy," but I am not. I am thinking about bodies of water. They don't always have smooth or easy paths, and sometimes the water dries up.

Short of human interference, what does/doesn't happen does or doesn't happen until it does or doesn't happen. What if, on some level, that is our life? And what if there are times we get caught up in someone else's ideas, plans, thoughts and try to go somewhere? Maybe we won't be as successful as we might have thought we'd be. Maybe that is only our path until we realize that it isn't. 

There are all kinds of maybes and possiblys and questions to life which is probably why we have our moments of desperation for the illusion of certainty. The fact is, I don't blame us one bit for wanting that. Sometimes its the illusion of certainty that can propel us forward.

I think I'd feel better about our "deceptions" if, in the end, they truly seemed to serve us. The thing is, I think the deceptions can more often serve the rooz that we think life is, rather than our lives themselves. 

It often feels to me like we are swimming on the surface of our lives, thinking we are doing stuff because we are busy. Thinking we are having an impact, when we may barely be making a dent. Often focused on things that don't really matter, thinking they do.

Once in a while we get a wake-up call and everything can be altered in moments, and potentially forever. The wake-up call calls BS. It sees things a lot more clearly. A travesty is no longer a broken nail.

Of course, that is an extreme statement, but for someone who has no real concept of a travesty, likely many things will be miscategorized there. There is something to be said for all things being relative. And fortunate is the person who can put something in the travesty column that one who has truly been hit by something catastrophic would only be amazed at - and, perhaps wish for the innocence of experience that likely often comes along with it. 

I have now come back to this entry a few times. Not quite sure where to end it. As with some of my posts, it feels like I went all over the road. And I probably did.

I guess I just wish we were more able to see things in a way that does more than have the illusion of serving us/making a difference. At the same time, I can (to some degree) understand why things often are as they are. It is just really hard once the blinders come off, the shades are raised, and you can't un-see things. I miss being able to be in that place. At the same time, I DO appreciate what the light offers. I probably come off sounding harsh or frustrated or judgmental when it comes to some things. If I do, it is because it is very difficult to see the world with much different eyes than many around you. And it's not like I chose to be here, exactly. I kinda came kicking and screaming. The illusion often doesn't really work, but when it's all you know...

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