Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Grief Bridge?

I was reading this about dealing with griefand was 
thinking how there were pieces that could apply 
fairly universally to challenges and tragedy. One 
in particular that stood out for me, given how much 
it has been offered to me in recent months:

"4. God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

Actually, some people do get a lot more than any one person should ever have to handle. And it doesn't come from God. Don't trivialize someone's grief with a 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' mentality."

Whether it trivializes, or not, I am sure there are 
others like me - in extreme situations - who will 
find it anything but helpful. It is a form of a "fix," 
and likely more about the person talking and their 
eed to help and/or say a helpful thing. 

When the pain is now, it is hard to see anything 
else in the midst of a large pit. I am learning a big 
lesson by what has happened with me about people's 
pit moments and experiences.

There is an expression "what you resist, persists." 
While it may seem counter to what we think is best, 
wanting to be so positive and helpful is a form of 
resistance to what is there, and what is felt. 

By allowing someone to feel what they do, I suspect 
it will heal and release more quickly than if it is 
smothered with good intentions and positive sounding 
words that have no ability to relate to the person and 
where s/he is at. Eventually a person may be able to 
get to another place, but it is unlikely a leap will get 
them there. More than likely it will be more like a 
bridge, and every piece of the span of a bridge is 
required to get from Point A to Point B.

Maybe the most helpful part of the healing journey 
is on the bridge somewhere, and even if they could 
take the leap others want for them, something valuable 

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