A Grief Bridge?

I was reading this about dealing with grief, and was 

thinking how there were pieces that could apply 

fairly universally to challenges and tragedy. One 

in particular that stood out for me, given how much 

it has been offered to me in recent months:

"4. God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

Actually, some people do get a lot more than any one person should ever have to handle. And it doesn't come from God. Don't trivialize someone's grief with a 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' mentality."

Whether it trivializes, or not, I am sure there are 

others like me - in extreme situations - who will 

find it anything but helpful. It is a form of a "fix," 

and likely more about the person talking and their 

eed to help and/or say a helpful thing. 

When the pain is now, it is hard to see anything 

else in the midst of a large pit. I am learning a big 

lesson by what has happened with me about people's 

pit moments and experiences.

There is an expression "what you resist, persists." 

While it may seem counter to what we think is best, 

wanting to be so positive and helpful is a form of 

resistance to what is there, and what is felt. 

By allowing someone to feel what they do, I suspect 

it will heal and release more quickly than if it is 

smothered with good intentions and positive sounding 

words that have no ability to relate to the person and 

where s/he is at. Eventually a person may be able to 

get to another place, but it is unlikely a leap will get 

them there. More than likely it will be more like a 

bridge, and every piece of the span of a bridge is 

required to get from Point A to Point B.

Maybe the most helpful part of the healing journey 

is on the bridge somewhere, and even if they could 

take the leap others want for them, something valuable 

could be missed in the process.

Want to subscribe to this blog?
Click here for options.